The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 94

Jamie

23:02pm

We're almost back in North Bridge, and the closer we've been getting to home, the more apprehensive I'm feeling about this. 

After I left the Bayside concert venue with Shaun, we got into his Range Rover and started the drive back home. It's been fine. We've been talking and having banter like we usually do, but this time, I'm very aware that this is heading somewhere. I told him I wanted to go home with him tonight, so we both know what's going on right now. We'll drive back to town, we'll go to his apartment or my house, we'll take our clothes off and we'll have sex. 

I know what's up, and I knew what I wanted when I left South Bridge with Shaun. But, I'm having doubts now. Of course I am. I'm totally sober, I've had a weird as fuck night, and now I'm casually riding shot gun next to Mr Campbell, like we're car pooling to school or something. But, no. We're riding home together because we're gonna hook up. 

I shouldn't be doing this, I know that. I'm doing it for all the wrong reasons. I'm using Shaun, to try and get over Noah. And even though Shaun is absolutely fine with that, and he is completely aware of my intentions, it just feels...wrong? 

"Shaun?" I ask, as we drive past the Welcome to North Bridge - Drive Safe! sign on the freeway.  

"You're having second thoughts?" He knows exactly what I'm thinking. 

"Yeah." I admit sheepishly. 

"That's cool." He says, signalling and turning off towards town. "I kinda thought you might."

I'm surprised. "Really? But, I was such a sure thing? You left with me? Aren't you pissed?"

He laughs at me. "Of course I'm not pissed, Superstar. I know what you're like. That pretty little head of yours has been over thinking everything the entire ride back here, I know that."

He turns his head and grins at me, and I tug at the sleeves of my hoodie, feeling like a first rate bitch for leading him on like this. 

"I am a teacher, Jamie. I'm not stupid." Another smile. I can't believe he's being so cool. 

"Thanks, Shaun." I say. "And stop calling me Superstar."

He laughs as he drives through town, and I realise he isn't heading for my house. I assume he's heading for his apartment. 

"Um, so, are you kidnapping me now?" I ask, only half kidding. 

"Of course not, I just thought you could use someone to talk to." He explains.

"We have been talking, for like the past two hours." I point out. "I'm good, dude. You can drop me off at home. I need to make sure my dog's okay."

"Right, your dog." He says, shaking his head slightly. He must have forgotten about Benji. "Re-routing now."

Shaun turns the car around, and when we arrive outside my house, I feel relieved and a little sick. Relieved, because it always feels good to be home after an emotional night. And sick, because I have seriously been neglecting my phone tonight, and I know all of my friends are gonna be pissed with me. They've probably been over here tonight. I probably completely ruined the dance, and Fall Out Boy, for everyone close to me. I do feel badly about that, but Patrick called Jay earlier to let him know we were good. It won't be that bad. I'll talk to everyone in the morning and straighten this whole thing out. I'll tell them about Noah and Madison. Well, I'll try at least. I'm still not in the mood to talk about it, but hopefully after a decent nights sleep I'll feel more able to open up to my friends about this whole mess. I should probably tell Jay and Joel that I slept with Noah too. Patrick knows, so there's no point hiding it. Ugh, I just don't wanna get into it right now. I wanna forget about fucking Noah Adams, and talking about him will not achieve that. Not in the short term, anyway. 

I invite Shaun in for a drink, because why not? It was nice of him to drive me home, and I do feel bad for leading him on. I've been a total fucking drama queen tonight, and I'm seriously grateful that people even bother themselves to waste their time on me. Shaun Campbell included. 

"Thanks for the ride." I say, as I hand him a beer from the fridge. "And sorry for being such a cock tease."

He laughs as he takes the beer from me. "Don't apologise for being a cock tease, it's not your fault you're so hot." 

I roll my eyes at him before looking around the kitchen. Where the hell is Benji? I thought he would have been fast asleep upstairs, but usually he'll rush down to greet me when he hears me getting in. I check the house for Benji, and panic a little when I realise he isn't here. 

"Okay, someone has stolen my dog." I tell Shaun, as I pull my phone out of my pocket and turn it on. I switched it off hours ago, for obvious reasons. 

My phone practically explodes with notifications; missed calls, texts, fucking video calls from Erin - Seriously, Er? It's Saturday night, don't you have anything better to do than FaceTime me from New York? God - and one message in particular catches my eye as I skim over the notifications. 

Jay, 21:11pm: I've taken Benji to the palace, in case you end up staying in SB with P. Thank me later, and fucking talk to me as soon as you can. Hope you're okay. 

I love Jay so much, I breathe a sigh of relief. 

"Benji's with Jay." I inform Shaun, before tossing my phone down onto the kitchen counter. I am not reading any of those other messages. 

"Cool." Shaun says, casually sipping his beer. "So, you wanna come back to my place then?"

I frown at him. "Shaun, I already told you. It's not happening. It wouldn't be right."

"Hey, I wasn't suggesting anything." He says, pretending to be wounded by what I just said. "I just thought you might appreciate getting out of dodge for the rest of the night. Benji's fine, you don't need to stay at home on your own. Your friends could rush over here any moment now and start questioning you about what happened at the dance tonight. You'd rather avoid that, am I right?"

He is right. "Fine, let's go." 

He sets his beer down and smiles at me triumphantly. I know exactly what he's doing. He's hoping that he might still get laid tonight. I'm not an idiot. 

And honestly, maybe he will. Or I wouldn't be leaving my house and getting back into his car right now. 

Why am I such a fuck up?