Star Crossed Lovers

Chapter 17: Overwhelming

I sit alone in my room, phone in hand. Fear still in my veins.
I tell myself to ignore it, it's probably just a prank. But my deep gut reaction is to run. Hide. Get away.
Flashbacks of when I was with Nate appear in my head.
I don't feel too well...
I think I'm having a panic attack.
I place my hands on the sides of my face and massage my temples.
My head is spinning.
I thought I was better.
I wish he was fully out of my head.
I can't keep doing this.

I breath in deeply and exhale slowly like my mother had told me to do.
Thank Satan she's a therapist or I wouldn't have any idea on how to control myself in these situations.

After mostly calming down, I put on my softer songs playlist on my phone.
"Losing My Religion" by R.E.M comes on first.
I continue my mother's breathing strategy for a little longer.
I look out my window and it's cloudy, definitely going to rain.
I put my earphones on and go to the kitchen, I decided to make green tea since that usually helps me calm down.
Once the tea has finished and I'd made myself a cup, I sit by the window. I open it up and breath the fresh sent of rain.
It's fairly windy, I love it when it gets really windy and the sky is full of thunder.
I take a long warm sip of my tea and that's when the sky let's go. I had forgotten about the text for now and that's all that mattered to me.
When I go for a second sip, Cirice starts to play.
I'm alright for the first couple lines of the song but then I find myself longing for Tobias's warm arms around me.
I look up to the sky and lighting strikes in the distance.

"Can't you see that you're lost?"
"Can't you see that you're lost without me?"

That's when I completely lose it. I'm bawling with the window open and the storm making a mess of my hair and heart.
Funny how the simplest of things can mess with your heart.

Unbeknownst to me, my mother had came home. I jumped when she touched my shoulder.
I looked up and she had warm soft eyes, as if asking what was wrong.
She knew I only listen to music with my earphones when I'm upset or walking to town.
I stand up and bawl into her shoulder while hugging her, I had no idea I needed a hug this bad.
I might sound like a big baby but I don't get like this often.

I slowly take my earphones off and sigh into her shoulder.
"Wanna talk about it hun?" She asks, I shake my head yes in response.

We sit together in the living room, green tea in hand.
I tell her about the messages, she's obviously pissed about it and is sure it's Nate, I also tell her how I thought I was doing fine. But it seems I haven't been doing so well as I had thought.

She wraps me in her arms and tells me she'll talk to my old case worker about the messages and give him the number. That makes me feel a little more at ease.
"Now with you missing Tobias so dearly, all I can say is call him. Tell that man that you miss him dearly because he could be feeling the same way. Remember, he's only a text or call away."
I smile at my mom, I love this women so much. She knows so much and knows exactly what to do and say for every situation. Even if she hasn't been in that particular situation.

After a little while we move on to brighter topics. I tell her about the new record store. She seemed really excited about it.

"Today I got to work with the therapy dogs that we had recently hired for certain people who need them during sessions. I love them so much. It amazes me so much how smart they are and how they can bring such troubled people so much joy." My mother tells me.
I don't know why I had never really considered getting a dog before. Our last dog had been a Boston Terrier. He was a good dog, died of old age. We haven't had a dog since.

"Hey mom, can I get a dog?"
She has a thinking look on her face, then it softens with a smile.
"Sure honey, but it'll be yours and you'll be taking care of it."
I laugh lightly, "Yes mom, of course." I smile. Guess I'm going to have a busy day tomorrow. Thankfully there's a shelter nearby that I'm very certain will have some good dogs needing a lifelong home.
"I'll look at the local shelter tomorrow, after shopping for stuff and dog proofing what I can."
"Hopefully it won't be hard headed like Jock was; That damned dog was so hard to train, but we all loved him."
I smile and nod.
"I think I'll call Tobias and then head to bed. I've got a big day tomorrow." I say while smiling.
She smiles back at me.
"Have fun, I'll be home tomorrow by the way."
"Good!" I say as I rush to my room.

After getting into pajamas and turning my LED lights on I sit into bed, but before I could call Tobias he was already calling me himself.
I'm almost shocked.
"Hey" I answer softly, you could clearly hear the smile on my face.
"Hello dear, " He says lightly, "How have you been?"
"I've been alright, I miss you a lot though." I sigh a bit.
"I know, I miss you a ton too. I don't have a concert tonight so I've got plenty of time to talk to you my dear."

And that's what we did. We talked for hours. And I loved every bit of it.
"I wish I could hug you." He mumbles in a tired voice.
"Me too." I say in an even tireder voice.
He chuckles lightly, "we should probably go to sleep, even though I know we both don't want to."
"Yeah.. We probably should." I say sadly.
Before he speaks again I interrupt.
"Hey, do you like dogs?" I ask him, hoping he isn't allergic or something.
"I prefer cats but dogs are alright, why?"
"I asked my mom if I could get a dog, I miss having one around." I say while smiling.
"Lovely, I'll probably still prefer your cat Salem." He jokes.
"Oh ha ha, you'll love the dog I get, I can feel it." I state, certainty in my voice.
He chuckles, "Alright sweetie, I think we should go to bed, I'll be back soon."
I smile, "ok, goodnight."
He takes a moment then mumbles something.
"I didn't quite hear you dear." I say in a sleepy tone.
"I...  I love you." He says in a hushed voice that I can barely hear.
My face is beat red and I have the dumbest tired smile on my face.
"I love you too." I say softly, smile in my voice.
"Goodnight my dear." He says.
"Goodnight"

He loves me. And of course I fucking love him. I-i didn't know he'd end up saying it so soon. Oh gosh, his first I love you was at a perfect time. So many good and bad things in one day.
His I love you plays in my head as I fall asleep, and as you can imagine, I fell asleep quite fast.

~Somewhere in Tobias's POV~

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

I lay and pull a pillow to my face to keep my internal screams to myself.
I'm blushing like a mad man. What has this girl done to me?
Have I been bewitched??
I think I like being bewitched if that's the case.
This girls got my heart and soul and I'm gunna keep it that way. She's just so precious.
The sound of the smile in her voice when she said "I love you too", holy Satan. My breath is gone.
I can't wait to see her again, only 4 more concerts then I'm on my way back. So close yet so far.

Authors note: happiness and sadness in one chapter, ah you're welcome.
But anyways, I hoped you liked it. It's something a lil different than usual for me.
Anyways here's my reminder that I love all of you guys so so much! Thank you all for the votes and reads!!