Till death

1000 days

Cara
Saturday June 9, 2012.

Tony has been sober now for 1000 days. In the past 2 years and 9 months, he has been going to AA meetings every week. I got rid of all the liquor in the house. His temper has been under control. Our sex life was great. His job was getting better and we were happy.
We talked about kids again. A subject he wasn't too keen on 3 years ago.
But now it's different. He's not drinking anymore.
"I want you to be happy. I know I've failed you before, but I just want you to be happy."
We had ordered in dinner and ate by candlelight. The conversation was flowing in a good direction.
That night, I stopped taking my birth control pills and we started to try for a baby, together. For the first time.

                                           ~~~

Tony
Monday August 20, 2012.

I was showing a house to a potential buyers in Westford. It was hot outside. I wore a light colored polo shirt and khaki pants. The house was a two story 3,248 square foot mini mansion. The couple were in their twenties, and the wife was expecting. He was a trust fund baby who just graduated college. He liked to talk a lot. She said she was 7 months along. I hoped her child didn't grow up to be like him. I wanted to see Cara like that one day.
I may have been selfish before, but I love her. I want her to have my kids. I just don't want my kids to grow up like me. Or my past self I should say. This new me feels better. I don't miss alcohol or being drunk.
After showing the house I called Cara from the car.
It rang until it hit voice mail. I left her a message to call me back.
That's odd. She usually answers or sends a generated text that she is busy and will call me asap.
I drove back to the office and gave Robert the signed lease to the house I just sold to the pregnant couple.
This was going to be a nice commission, even though I really didn't need it. My commission checks go into a joint account I set up with Cara. That way she has access just in case she needs something.

Cara came home early. It was only 5pm and I just started dinner. This was a surprise. In her hand she had a brown paper bag from the market. Inside she pulled out milk, eggs some ginger ale and a home pregnancy test.
I stopped cooking and looked at her.
"Are you late?" I swallowed hard.
"Yes. Besides, I threw up a couple times today."
I came around the counter and kissed her.
"Do you want to take it now?"
She smiled and nodded then walked off to the bathroom.
Five minutes passed before the door opened. Cara came out smiling.
"It's positive." She said
I let out a deep breath.
"Tony, I'm scared."
I pulled her to me. "Why?"
"Because right now it's good. I don't want things to go back to how they were before."
I looked her in the eyes and said. "I will never hurt you again."

~~~

Cara
Friday September 21, 2012.

I am now fifteen weeks pregnant. My due date is March 16th. I figured now would be a good time to tell my parents. I called them on speaker phone so Tony can talk also.
"Hi mom, is dad around?" I asked.
I heard my mom call for my dad.
"Mom. I wanted to talk to both of you. Can you put it on speaker?"
"Sure." She said. "Ok, your dad and I are both here. Is everything alright?"
"Yes. Everything is fine. Tony and I have news."
"We're pregnant." Tony and I said together.
I could hear my mom crying and my dad congratulated us.
"How far along are you?" My mom asked once she was done crying.
"Fifteen weeks. I wanted to keep it quiet until I reached 4 months. And I'm starting to show."
"I want to see you. Can we come over tomorrow?"
"Of course you can mom. I have to go now. I want to call Tamara. I'll see you tomorrow."
I called Tamara and she picked up right away. I gave her the good news and she squealed in excitement.
She and Jack got engaged five months ago and moved to Grenada Mississippi, where Jack is being stationed. He joined the military before they got engaged. I'm happy for both of them.
I wanted to call Hilary right away but didn't want Tony to be on speaker, just in case she's says something about his past abuse.
I'll wait until tomorrow while he is wrapped up with my parents.

My parents were so excited when they came to see us. They wanted to see my baby bump. I lifted my top to expose my belly and there it was. A protruding bump.
"Do you have names picked out yet for either gender?" My mom asked.
"If its a boy, Tony junior maybe." Tony said shrugging.
"That seems like a fine idea." My father stated.
Tony stated to prepare lunch so this have me time to slip away.
"Be right back."
I secretly snuck my phone or of my purse stood up then slid my phone into my pocket and covered it with my shirt. I made my way upstairs into my bedroom them into the bathroom.
I quickly called Hilary.
Before she could say hi, I got right into it. I had no time to waste.
"I'm pregnant." I said softly.
Hilary was happy for me. But still on the outs with Tony.
"You know Tony hasn't had a drink in almost 3 years. He's a changed man."
"Men like that never change Cara. They learn to hide it."
What she said stung. I told her I'd see her Monday and hung up then slid my phone back into my pocket.
I flushed the toilet just in case and wanted my hands. I opened the door. Tony was standing there.
"Jesus." I said startled. "You scared me."
He smiled. "Just wanted to tell you lunch is ready."
"Ok." I walked past him and headed down the steps.

Monday September 24, 2012.

Hilary was in the studio when I got there. She brought me an herbal tea and corn muffin.
"I'm sorry for what I said the other day. I just don't want to see you hurt again."
Hilary is the only one who knows about the outpatient rehab program and AA meetings. To this day, I never told her about the attack in the office after she left.
"I know. It was one time. He's doing really well."
Hilary squeezed my hand.
"So, let me see it."
I stood up and showed her my little baby bump, just then Faith came in.
"You're pregnant!" She squealed. "Congratulations."

Throughout the day I had gone to throw up three times due to morning sickness. I hoped that it would not last long. I can't do this every day. It's tiring. We had a big job coming up in two weeks for a client who just bought an apartment. She hired us to do the whole place. This was going to take some time.
But it was going to be worth it.