Till death

Scared and Hiccups

Cara
Friday October 26, 2012.
The city was decked out for Halloween. It looked creepy, but cool like every year. Tony and I were in the doctors office getting our ultrasound done. This was the day we find out what we are having. Tony wants a boy, but as long as it's healthy, it doesn't matter to me.
The gel felt cold as it touched my bare belly. I shivered and as soon as the probe was placed on my belly we heard the heartbeat. It was a glorious sound. Dr. Hardin moved it around and took several different images. She turned to us and asked us if we were ready for the gender.
We both nodded.
"It's a girl." She pointed to the image and I looked at Tony. The smile on his face faded.
I know he was hoping for a boy and sure this is a let down, but a baby is a baby nonetheless.

On the drive home Tony was quiet. I didn't want to upset him, so I stayed quiet too. We just found out the sex of the baby. This was an exciting time.
Tony pulled up to the house and turned off the engine, he took of his seat belt but sat there staring ahead. I unhooked my seat belt and put my hand on the handle to open the door when I felt a tug on the back of my hair.
"Ow. Tony no." I cried. He pulled my head back to him and yelled in my ear.
"You couldn't fucking give me a son! Fucking worthless." Then he shoved me to the door. I sat there crying as he exited the car, slamming the door the shut.
I sat in the car for about 10 minutes. This wasn't good. Tony hasn't laid a hand on me in over 3 years. I was scared, again.
I made my way into the house and put my bag down. It was still dark inside. I reached for the light switch when I felt a hand grab my arm.
I cried out. Tony slammed me against the wall and squeezed my arm hard that I felt nails dig into me. With the other hand he made a fist. I flinched for I knew what was coming. But there was no impact to me. His fist hit the wall. He winced in pain and his grip on my arm loosened. I got away, ran upstairs to the bedroom and locked the door.

I cried and I heard him screaming profanities downstairs. That's his own fault. He needs to see someone about his temper. My arm hurt where he put pressure on it. I rubbed the area of my arm and saw nail impressions from his grip. The skin wasn't broken, thank goodness but it sure hurt like hell.
I heard him on the stairs and I tensed up. Why was he like this again? And without alcohol he was scarier than ever. Now he knows what he's doing.
The knob turned. Then the banging started.
"Cara open the door."
"Tony, you're scaring me. No."
"Dammit Cara! Open the door."
I backed away from the door as I heard louder banging. Tony was cursing louder.
"Stop it. I don't want you in here."
Before I could react Tony busted through the locked door. The rage in his eyes was intense. My only thought was, 'Please don't hurt the baby.'
Tony slapped me hard across the face then threw me on the bed.
He straddled me and rubbed my belly. I started crying harder.
"Please don't."
"A boy. That's all I asked for." He said as he continued to rub my belly. Just then, he felt a slight movement.
His hand retracted. His eyes grew wide.
"Don't hurt her. Please Tony."
Tony's eyes watered as he got off of me. It was like a switch went off. He sat there next to me and cried. He held me in his arms.
I was in shock. I was married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

~~~

Tony
I woke up early Saturday morning. It was just past 6am. Cara was lying next to me as beautiful as always, but there was a red mark on her face from my hand last night. I kissed her lightly and headed downstairs. I don't know what came over me. I got mad that we were having a girl. I was being selfish, I'll admit it.
I opened the sliding door that led to the backyard and brewed a pot of coffee. It was a nice day today. Not too chilly. I needed the fresh air. I started making breakfast when I heard Cara in the foyer.
She headed this way. She was like an angel walking towards me. An angel with a red face and bruised arm.
"I'm sorry." I told her as my eyes got misty. She stood there. She showed me her arm. There were five nail marks and purple finger impressions. Holy shit. How hard had I gripped her?
I came around the island and hugged her tight. Her baby belly pressed against me. She cried in my arms as I stroked her long hair.
"Please forgive me. Please."
I got on my knees and kissed her belly. "I'm sorry baby. Daddy loves you."
I looked up and saw Cara still crying.
"Daddy loves you too." I told her.

That day I did everything I could to make it up to her from last night. Thankfully the marks on her arm were high enough that a long sleeve shirt would hide it. The red mark on her face started to fade as the day grew on. No one needs to know what I did. What would they think of me? Her parents would kill me. I'd lose Cara and I couldn't have that happen. She is my life.

~~~

Cara
Sunday October 28, 2012.
My parents, Eric and Hilary were coming for dinner tonight. I wanted to surprise them with the gender of the baby by getting a cake made.
The cake was done beautifully. The inside was a strawberry filled pink cake. The icing was stark white. No decorations to give away the gender.
Tony was making his famous meatless lasagna and baby potatoes.
Being Italian, he loves cooking. Especially Italian dishes.
"You've popped since we last saw you." My mom said as she rested her hand on my belly.
"Well, you know how this works." I chuckled.
I had popped somewhat that my clothes were too tight. I had to go shopping for maternity clothes two weeks ago when I couldn't button my pants up under my belly.
Hilary and Eric were chatting near the fireplace. They looked like they were getting along pretty well. Tony kept eying me and winking every time I looked at him. He wants to reassure me that we are good.
I know deep down inside he is a good man. I do love him with all my heart and want to see him change, for the better.

The lasagna was excellent. Everyone has seconds but kept room for dessert. I was so excite to cut the cake.
Tony brought the cake out after we cleared the dishes.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
Everyone said yes, they were so excited to find out.
Tony and I cut the cake together. My parents face lit up.
"I knew it." My mom said."George, I told you it was a girl."
I looked at Tony. He still has a smile across his lips. Hopefully it lasts.