Till death

Happy Birthday Tony

Cara
Monday December 24, 2012.
The house has been decorated for Christmas for the past three weeks. Our tree was big and gorgeous. I however had trouble bending down at this point. My belly has grown bigger over the past 8 weeks.
I had Hilary come help me decorate for Tony's surprise birthday/Christmas eve party. I had set things up behind his back two weeks ago.
Hilary and Eric had started dating just before Thanksgiving so it was much easier to have her relay messages to him.
"So how are things?" Hilary asked.
"Good. Why do you ask?" I half lied.
"I don't know. A few days ago I could've sworn I saw a bruise on your shoulder when you were taking off your coat. Maybe it was the lighting. Nevermind."
Damn. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't.
'Yes, Tony punched me in the shoulder after we argued a couple nights ago.' I screamed inside my head.
"Hilary. I'm ok. I promise." Inside I cried like a baby.

My parents arrived at 3pm with a half a dozen gifts.
Tony was due to be home by 4pm. He was finishing up a showing. The plan was that Eric was coming over to have dinner. That's what he thought.
Tony knew that my studio was closed until after new years so I couldn't turn all the lights out. I left the light on in the living room so it wasn't pitch black. I had everyone stand behind the wall so he wouldn't see them when he walked right it.
His car pulled up and the engine died.
His keys giggled in the lock and the door opened.
"Hey honey." I said.
Just then my parents, Eric and Hilary appeared.
"Surprise!" They yelled in unison.
Tony stood there in disbelief. "Wow."
He shut the door roughly behind him and shrugged off his coat. His smile was fake, I can tell.
Was he mad again? Oh no. What have I done?
My parents hugged him and wished him a happy birthday. He eyed me. His eyes showed danger behind them. I wanted to ask him if everything was ok. But I knew if I did, a fight would ensue. I'm sure I'll hear it later.

The rest of the night I was trying to have fun but was on edge. Even though Tony kissed me tenderly when we came in, I felt like it was a show. Forced not real.
My mother handed him a wrapped small box.
"This is from George and I."
Tony tore the paper and opened the box. Inside laid a black leather wallet with his name inscribed on it.
"Wow. Thank you. This is very thoughtful."
His old wallet was starting to fall apart, so when they asked what he would like I mentioned it to them. The inscription was on them though. I had no idea of that.

By 8pm everyone had started to leave. Hilary was the last one.
Tony was in the kitchen cleaning up.
I walked Hilary to the door.
"He looks upset." Hilary whispered as she hugged me goodbye. "Be careful. Love you."
Hilary waved to Tony.
"Call me if you need me."
" I will."
After she left I locked the door and walked towards the kitchen picking up glasses along the way.
"You know I hate surprise parties. And of all the fucking days!" Tony said with his back turned. As I got closer to lay the glasses down Tony backhanded me across the face causing me to drop the glasses.
They shattered on the kitchen floor.
Tony bent down and picked up a broken shard of glass and held it to me.
"I could slit your throat right now!" He spit at me.
"Tony, please. Calm down and talk to me." I stammered. I was shaking as he held the glass to my neck.
Could he really kill me?
His face tightened as he dropped the glass.
Instead of slicing me he dragged me up the steps into the bedroom. He forcefully pushed me on the bed while he took off his clothes.
I cried knowing what was coming.
"Don't do this." I begged.
Tony grabbed my ankles and yanked me down as he pulled my pants off.
"I worked my damn ass off and for what? I didn't sell the fucking house!" He yelled just before he forcefully sexually assaulted me.
I laid there crying not fighting back. That only made things worse. I took the hit every time he got in a bad mood.
This was the scariest moment of all. I've never had his threaten to kill me before.
My mind drifted to the time when we first met. Were there warning signs that I missed?
Probably. He was possessive but I thought it was just because he loved me. We rushed into things.
It's too late now. What's done is done. I'm his no matter what. Our vows said, Till death.

Tuesday morning I woke up sore from the night before. Tony was not in bed. It was Christmas day. I went to the bathroom then quickly showered.
After I put on a sweater and a pair of maternity jeans, I crept downstairs. The living room was spotless. The broken glass from the floor was gone.
"Tony?"
I called out.
He didn't answer. I checked out front and his car was gone. Where did he go on Christmas day?
I sent Hilary a text.
Merry Christmas.
She called me.
"So what happened after we left?" She asked.
I couldn't hold it in. I started to cry.
"Cara. Talk to me. What happened?"
I told her everything. From the glass to the assault.
"That fucking son of a bitch." She said. "Cara you need to file a report. This is the second time he hit you."
I took a deep breath then revealed it all.
"Oh my god." She yelled. "Why didn't you tell me? I knew I saw a bruise. Cara. You need to leave him. What if he hurts the baby?"
"Hilary. He would never do that."
"Oh but he would slit your throat in a heartbeat. Come on!"
I heard a car out front. "He's here. I gotta go." I hung up the phone and put it on the table. I dried my tears just as the door opened.
Tony stepped inside the house with a bouquet of roses.
"Good morning." He said smiling.
He sat next to me on the sofa.
"About last night. I didn't mean what I said. I could never do that to you, I adore you so much. You're the reason I'm breathing right now."
I stayed quiet. I didn't know what to say.
He always made promises that he broke. How could I trust him fully?
"Please Cara. I know I fucked up. A lot. But I would go crazy if I lost you."