Till death

Early

Cara
Wednesday February 13, 2013.
I woke up with cramps. I tried to get out of bed but they were coming in every couple minutes. I grabbed the phone off the nightstand and dialed Tony.
"I think I'm in labor." I told him. He said he was on his way home.
Within 10 minues, Tony was there flying up the steps two at a time.
He called the doctor and explained what was happening.  She told us to come to labor and delivery  as soon as possible.
Tony helped me out of bed and get dressed. It took me a while as the cramps were contractions and coming in strong.
It was freezing outside. As I walked down the steps to the car a gush of fluid poured down my pants.
"Oh shit. My water broke."
Tony ran inside to get towels as I held onto the car door.
He put the towels on the seat then helped me in the car. He sped carefully to the hospital.
My parents and Hilary arrived later that afternoon. I was almost fully dilated. The pain was horrific. They asked me if I wanted an epidural but Tony said no.

Dr. Hardin came in the room to check me around 5:15pm.
"Here we go. You are fully dilated now." She sat in the swivel chair in front of my parted legs.
"Ok Cara. I'm going to need you to take a deep breath and push."
I did what she asked. It hurt. I repeated the process 6 times when I felt her head coming out.
"One more push. One more Cara."
I bared down and pushed one last time. In Dr. Hardins hands was a tiny little baby. My baby. She took her to the table and cleaned her off. I heard crying. She sounded wonderful. Tony was by my side holding my hand the entire time.
His eyes were moist. He was crying.
"I love you mommy." He said to me and kissed my forehead.
Dr. Hardin handed her to me. She was perfect.
"Do you have a name yet?" She asked.
Tony looked at me. I shook my head. "Not yet."
Needless to say, I have birth to a healthy baby girl who weighted 5 lbs 6oz. She was so tiny in my arms and now my job was to protect her from the world and raise her right. Tony asked to hold her.
He sat down and I carefully placed her in his arms. My body was sore. I so desperately needed to rest. My breasts had grown to a double C cup and they were filled with milk. Tony liked them. He was obsessed with how big my breasts breasts grew and hoped I didn't lose them. 
I closed my eyes for a moment while Tony say next to me.
When I opened my eyes, he was gone. The baby was gone. Everyone was gone. The room was dark. I pushed the nurse call button. Tears feel from my eyes.
A woman with scrubs came in. "Is everything alright?"
"My husband and baby are gone." I cried out.
"Mrs. Calvano, he's in the nursery with her. It's ok."
Just then my heartbeat slowed down.
"I'm sorry. I just closed my eyes for a minute."
"It's 10pm." She told me.
I had slept for over 4 hours.
"Can I go to them?" I asked.
"I'm afraid not. You have stitches and need to rest until tomorrow afternoon. I can get your husband if you'd like."
I nodded.
A few minutes later Tony walked in. He sat in the chair next to me.
"You ok?"
"I didn't even know I fell asleep. I got scared. How is she?"
"She's beautiful just like her mother. She's fine. I had to give her formula though."
My breasts were so sore. I asked Tony to get the nurse again. I had to pump.
The nurse showed me how to pump my milk out and I was able to fill up four small bottles worth.
"We need to pick a name." I said.
Tony grabbed my hand. "I know I never talked about my family much. But what about Amelia? It was my mother's name."
I smiled. "I love it. Amelia Calvano."
Tony leaned over and kissed me. "Happy Valentines day my love." He said as the clock struck midnight.

I was still sore come Monday morning but was able to manage around the house by myself. Tony told me to call him if I needed anything. Amelia was in her crib fast asleep when I woke. She should be. She was up most of the night. After going to the bathroom I walked into her room and just looked at her sleeping. She was so precious.
The doctor told me that in 4 weeks I can resume normal activities. Good. Cause I had baby weight to shed. I wasn't fat. Just had a baby belly.
I made myself some toast with jam and was halfway through when I heard Amelia crying.
I washed my hands and went to her. I knew she was hungry. She's always hungry it seems.
I sat in the rocker and cradled her to my breasts as she fed, rotating breasts every 5 minutes.
As she fed I cried. I wondered if it were my hormones making me cry or if it was the fact that she would someday be subjected to her father and his abuse. I never wanted her to go through that. I often wondered if his own father was like that. It was something I would need to look into myself.