Dear Luke ; muke

•25•

Dear Luke

Who knew that everything could get worse?

The interviewer was like hanging all over you. She ignored me and talked to ashton and calum. It seemed like the whole world turned against me? I don't even know what do or think anymore..

Brittany says all of these things to me behind your back. At first I didn't let it bother me, but now it's just to much.

She saw my cuts and she's always like

'Why would Luke like a freak?'

It's just whatever anymore

- Michael

Michael threw the journal on his bed. He sighed sadly and looked at the pictures across the room. Most of them were of Luke and Michael others were of the whole band. Like the one was them with all time low others were just of them.

He stayed silent for a few minutes when he thought he heard crying across the hall. But just shrugged it off.

Michael wished everything was how it was before. Before the depression with Luke, before the band basically went downhill. He wanted everyone and himself to be happy. He wanted to also be with Luke. But sadly you can't snap your fingers making it come true.

Michael was cut off by his thoughts when he heard his door fly open and a very angry Luke came barging in. Michael looked at him confused until Luke grabbed him and caused the confusion to quickly change to fear. Luke pushed Michael against the wall and already could feel panic rise threw his body.

"Luke wha--" Michael was cut off by Luke's fist connecting with michaels face. After that Luke threw Michael on the floor and Michael started breathing heavy and got bunch of flashbacks of all of his past. He felt the room get smaller and that's when he realized

He was definitely having a panic attack now. The thing is Michael has severe panic attacks. The only person who knows what to do when this happens is Ashton.

Michael was practically gasping for air and trying to reach for his phone to try and get Ashton. But he could barley move. His chest was heavy he couldn't hear anything and was shaking.

Luke's anger vanished once he saw Michael helplessly laying on the floor. Having a full blown panic attack. Luke had no idea what to do. He walked over and took michaels face in his hands.

"Michael shhh calm down" but once Michael saw Luke that only made his panic attack worse. Michael couldn't hear anything Luke was saying. But he is terrified of Luke.

"a-a-sh-t-ton" Michael stuttered between breaths. Luke thought for a second before running out the room and downstairs to where Ashton was sitting on the couch watching a movie

"Ashton!" Luke shouted causing Ashton to jump up startled

"Jesus Luke you scared me. What's wrong?" Ashton asked clearly seeing the panic all over Luke's face

"Michaels like panicking. He's having a panic attack" ashtons eyes widened and he darted up stairs and ran as fast as he could into michaels room

When they ran upstairs Luke's heart literally broke at the sight. Michael was curled up in a ball in the corner sobbing and hyperventilating very loudly. Ashton rushed over and immediately brought Michael into his arms.

"What the hell did you do?!" Ashton asked while rubbing michaels back.

"I didn't m-mean to--... I punched him" Luke whispered the last part but Ashton heard it, and if Michael wasn't having a panic attack right now Ashton would beat the shit outta Luke cause Luke knew what michaels step dad did to him before

Instead of doing that Ashton put michaels arm over the back of his neck and helped him out the room and into the bathroom. He set Michael down on the ledge of the bath tub. Ashton had a few ways of helping Michael when this use to happen.

He usually just uses the medicine that doctors gave Michael. He was rummaging through the medicine cabinet causing several things to knock over or fall out. Ashton was getting more frustrated when he couldn't find it. He slammed the cabinet shut.

He went and stood in front of Michael and saw he was still fully panicking. Ashton grabbed michaels hands causing Michael to look at him.

"He's not here! He won't hurt you everything is gonna be okay. I promise nobody will hurt you!" Ashton said to him slowly and Michael look at him questionably but Ashton nodded and Michael tried steadying his breath

"What the hell is the annoying sound!?" Brittany shouted while pushing open the door and glaring at the two boys. Ashton cupped michaels face with his hands

"Focus on your breathing and me nobody else is here" Ashton said sternly trying to hint Brittany to leave

"I'm here! Can you tell that freak to stop making so much noise" she snapped soon enough Luke was behind her watching nervously and intensely

Michael concentrated on his breathing trying to tell himself to calm down, and it was luckily working. Soon enough he was breathing at a normal pace. Ashton sighed in relief.

It was silent for a few minutes. Those few minutes all Michael could think about was how Luke had hit him. Luke was the one who promised to never ever hurt him. But that's all Luke has done. Not only physically but emotionally. Michael stood up shakily. Ashton looked at him confused. Everyone was staring at him. Brittany was the only one annoyed though

Michael walked out of the bathroom brushing shoulders with Luke on the way. He made his way downstairs grabbing his boots his diary from upstairs and his keys. Then made his way out to his car.

He is not going back to that house. He will sleep in the car for all he cares.