Dec-Mafia

Autumn roses and Rose tea

Chapter 3

Though Ava hated and was frankly scared to go outside, she realized it was necessary for her survival as she stared at the empty fridge for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. It still took her 20 minutes and a few more glances inside the fridge to fully convince her that food wasn't going to suddenly appear.

She went through her usual checklist before going through the door; surgical mask, coloured contacts and non-prescription square glasses. She exhaled and steeled her nerves before exiting the door, the vapour of her breath fogging up her vision. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and wiped her glasses using the hem of her hoodie.

At first, she wasn't sure which was worse, walking in the public eye or being trapped in transportation. However, after being assaulted by the hustle and bustle of the cursed 'Monday rush hour', she did a complete 180-degree turn and decided to walk through the streets.

Autumn was always a beautiful time for Ava, unlike the blistering heat of summer and the cold winter days inside; the cascading leaves and cold pre-winter air was an all too familiar and comforting sensation for her. To her, autumn was like a rose; beautiful, gentle and thought-provoking.

Without even realizing it she made her way to a park, sitting at a bench as a couple of children played in the playground near her. She remembered that her mother would always bring her and her older brother to the park around this time of year too. They would play tag and hide and seek; which she would ways win since she could hide her small stature behind and inside so many things. Ava chuckled at the memory of seeing her brother cluelessly search for her from her vantage point in the bushes. His pout when she would taunt him for losing and his grin when he chased after her for revenge. They had so much fun back then. He was so happy back then.

That final thought made her smile slowly vanish as she rubbed her thumb against her palm, the repetitive and constant motion put her in a trance as she unboxed the past. She realized that she hadn't been to the park for a long time. She was told she wasn't allowed to go but she knew deep down inside her that the real reason was that she didn't want to go, not anymore. She felt cold, and it wasn't the weather that was bothering her, it was a chill that she was all too familiar with. The chill that ran up her spine and held her soul captive for so many years now. She quickly stood up and left the park. Her freezing cold fingers contrasting with the hot tears that escaped her eyes as she desperately tried to recover herself. In the end, autumn, and the park were both roses and what is a rose without its thorns.

After a half hour of trying to avoid a mental breakdown, Ava decides that's she's ready to go back into the real world. On her way to the grocery store, she spots pop up cafe, though she was mentally exhausted and tried to stay focused on her task at hand, the heavenly smell of freshly baked pastries and the warmth of hand-brewed drinks managed to sway her priorities. While she lined up to buy some tea and pastries, she internally blamed her empty stomach and her low self-restraint, though the culprit was more likely to be her unhealthy coping mechanism of eating her emotions away.

Though they were a ton of people around, she couldn't back out on her decision after the whole shop erupted in greetings when she entered. The friendly shouts welcoming her into the store sealed her fate of staying; It was too awkward to leave now. While in line, she observed the multiple clicks and social groups that chattered at the wooden tables with their beautifully crafted coffees and hundreds of aesthetically pleasing, Instagram worthy pictures. The whole energy of the store was quite social though Ava would be lying if didn't feel quite intimidated by the high energy.

15 minutes go by before she made it to the front of the line, only to be confronted by a new dilemma. Ava knew how to speak 4 languages but none of them was as complicated as the foreign words on the menu in front of her. She couldn't even discern the beverage name to the cup size, much less know what it all meant. The clearing of the clerk's throat made her jump and sent her brain into a frenzy as she could feel the line becoming impatient. "May I take your order, miss?", the barista asked a second time, his smile starting to waver after 5 straight hours of work.

"Uh um do you-do you have rose or chamomile tea?", Ava asks unsurely, she needed something to slow down her racing heart. The barista nodded and quickly went through Ava's order of a small rose tea and a chocolate croissant.

"Very well will that be all ?", Ava nods her head without making eye contact, "Okay then, your total is 12 dollars", She rummaged through her hoodie pockets before placing some cash on the counter. Looking at the crumpled 10 dollar bill, she proceeds to bend down to take money out of the side of her shoe. 'Peculiar', the barista thought but he didn't care either way.

Her anxiety melted away as she sipped the hot tea. Her worries swiftly swept off into the river of silky ganache in her chocolate croissant. The combination between the crumbling exterior and pillow-soft interior was heavenly. She sighed in content as she stared outside the window, the falling leaves and smiling passerbyers matched quite nicely with the music playing through her earphones; a playlist full of lo-fi and calming songs, currently playing 'so good' by Forrest. The beat of her heart starts to settle down and becomes swayed into the music, somewhat drowning the judgemental voices and stares she felt. She leans on her palm, closes her eyes and shuts away the world; she wasn't asleep nor was she thinking of anything in particular, and this state of mind was blissful to her. It's a time where she could be at peace with her all her thoughts and feelings, and the memories that came with them, where she knows that everything will be fine. The only time she is fine.