Star & Twinkle (Completed)

Chapter 36

Star took a deep breath as she looked at Millie. It was already midnight and everyone was asleep except for Millie and Star. Millie wouldn't come home. She was afraid that all of them will agree to pull the plug on Twinkle while she's gone. She wouldn't let her go. She couldn't let her go. Star looked at Twinkle then at Millie. "Millie, kelangan mo din mag-pahinga," Star said. Millie shook her head as she stared at Twinkle. "Ayoko, ate. Baka once na matulog ako, saka nyo pa tanggalan ng life support si Shine. I'm not going to let that happen. If I have to stay awake for Shine to continue to fight, I will," she said eagerly. She took Twinkle's hand and hugged it. "I'm fighting for her. I'm fighting with her. Because none of you are doing that," she added. She shook her head and looked at the ceiling to stop herself from crying. "I'm sorry, Millie. I'm sorry kanina. Pero alam mo naman kung bakit kinoconsider namin na tanggalan na sya ng life support diba?" Star asked. Her eyes looked tired. She hasn't had any decent sleep since the night she and Twinkle were shot. "Alam ko, ate. I know your reasons. But to me, they are a bunch of excuses. If Shine is breathing and this machine is helping her do that and is helping her gain her strength so she can breathe on her own, then I want her to be on it. I want to do whatever needs to be done to save her and keep her here with us. Unless she lets go. Unless her heart stops again, then fine, maybe it's time to let go. Pero it's not, so we'll keep on fighting. This is Shine we're talking about. Hindi lang sya basta basta. She's family to me, so I don't just give up the fight," Millie said as she wiped the tear that escaped from her eye. Star looked at Millie. "Millie, thank you. Thank you sa lahat ng ginagawa mo para sa anak ko. Thank you for fighting for her. Thank you for never giving up on her," Star said. "Isn't that what best friends are supposed to do? That's what Shine did for me nung mass shooting, that's what I want to do for her now," Millie answered. She caressed Twinkle's hand and watched as her best friend's chest rose and took a while to fall back down again.

Three hours later, Star was still awake. Millie couldn't get herself to stay awake and ended up falling asleep by Twinkle's side holding her hand. Star stared at Millie then at Twinkle again. A few minutes later, Allan woke up. He checked the time and immediately checked on Twinkle. He was surprised to see Star awake. "Mahal, bakit gising ka pa?" He asked. He bent down to kiss her on the forehead. He looked at Millie who was sleeping while holding his daughter's hand. "Nakatulog na si Millie dito, ayaw ba nya dun sa kabilang kama?" He asked. Star shook her head. "Then you sleep there, mahal. Sige na, ako na mag-babantay kay Twinkle. Star started crying again. Allan took a deep breath and pulled up a chair next to her. "Alam ko, mahal. Alam ko na mahirap toh para sayo, para sating lahat, kakayanin natin toh. Kakayanin natin toh kasama ang Diyos," he tried to reassure her. "Feeling ko ang sama sama kong nanay kay Twinkle, Al. Feeling ko ang sama sama ko dahil gusto ko ng tanggalan ang sarili kong anak ng life support. Pero Al, feeling ko wala na talaga sya eh. I tried not to entertain the thought, but I can't feel Twinkle's presence anymore. I think she has moved on. Hindi ko na sya maramdaman. Feeling ko naiwan na nya yung katawan nya dito sa lupa at nakaalis na yung kaluluwa nya. Nung una madalas ako nakakaramdam na andito sya, but now this room is empty, mahal. It's empty and she's gone," Star said as she started sobbing. Allan nodded and hugged Star tightly. He started to cry, too. "Akala ko ako lang ang nakakaramdam nun. Pero ilang araw ko na ding hindi maramdaman na andito pa sya. Ilang araw ko ng hinahanap hanap yung presence nya dito sa kwarto, but she's not here. I prayed na mabalik yung feeling na andito lang sya, but it hasn't come back. And you're right. It does feel empty. Kaya when the doctor said to decide, I was also leaning into pulling the plug already. Our daughter's body is alreadt beat down. Hindi na nya kaya. She's losing her fight. Maybe tama ka. Matagal na siguro syang bumitaw at naka-move on. Gustohin ko mang maramdaman sya ulit, hindi ko na maramdaman yun," Allan said. His eyes were sad as he stared at his daughter. "I can't feel her anymore either," Vicky said. Her eyes filled with tears. Star cried even more with Vicky's confirmation. "Ilang araw ko na rin syang hindi nararamdaman. I can see her physical body here, but tama kayo, her presence is not here anymore. It's like nasa America sya ulit. Parang umalis sya, parang umalis na sya. I just couldn't say anything kanina dahil alam ko kung gano kamahal ni Millie si Twinkle. Alam ko mahirap toh para sa kanya. Alam ko matagal sila nag-sama kaya masakit lahat ng toh para sa kanya," Vicky said as tears fell down from her eyes. Allan and Star both nodded. Allan rubbed Star's back as he held his daughter's hand.