liar (shizaya)

Chapter 20: Alone pt1

Alone part 1
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"Izaya, you got raped."

He knew he did.

He knew he got raped.

And the worst part is that he remembered everything. Every second of it.

"Who did it to you?"

He even knew who did it to him.

So, why didn't he do anything about it?

Because he was scared.

He was going to have his revenge, like he would usually do, but then he had second thoughts.

What if they would go after him again?

What if they'd rape him again?

Or maybe do something even worse?

So he decided to do nothing about it. To just ignore it, like it never happened.

But it's kind of hard to forget something when you dream about it every night.

"Why did you let them do it?"

He asked himself the same question.

And he didn't know the answer to it.

He could've slashed them, cut them up, or even killed them.

But he did nothing.

He did try to scream for help, but nobody heard him. Nobody came to save him.

Maybe it's karma.

It was about time he got what he deserved.

But still, this was too much for him.

"Izaya. Answer, please."

Izaya only stared at Namie. Then suddenly he got up and walked out.

Namie didn't chase after him nor did she yell at him to come back. She just let him go.

...

He didn't know where he was walking to. He just let his feet take him wherever they wanted.

The sun was barely rising, so not many people were out walking.

It was mostly just him and couple of people doing early jogs or going to work.

He had his eyes glued to the floor and his hood over his head so he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone.

But because of that, h bumped into some people as he walked. Some just ignored him and some gave him a dirty look, but he didn't care. He couldn't even see them giving him the dirty look anyway.

He continued walking, his hand in his pockets fiddling with knifes.

His shoulder bumped into someone's arm, but like he previously did, he ignored it.

The person growled and grabbed him by the shoulder, dragging him back.

"Hey, flea, look where you're going!"

He tried to push through Shizuo's grasp on his shoulder, but that only made him grip even harder.

"Leave me alone, Shizuo!"

Izaya finally looked up at him, making Shizuo's eyes grow wide.

Izaya's eyes were puffy and looked like tears were about to fall from them at any minute.

Izaya noticed Shizuo's staring so he looked down at the ground again.

"Are you...ok?"

He pushed Shizuo's arm away from his shoulder forcefully, "How could you just ask that after everything?! Do you not remember anything?! Because I would gladly remind you!"

Shizuo stood there with no words. He wasn't one with words anyway.

He believed actions spoke better than words.

So then Shizuo pulled Izaya into a hug.

It took a few minutes to finally process what was happening.

He was being hugged by Shizuo, the man that ruined him. The man that ruined his life.

The man that broke his fragile little heart that he didn't know existed.

He stabbed Shizuo on his arm and wiggled out of his hold.

"You monster!" He yelled.

He ran away from Shizuo as fast as he could.

His mind was spinning and his vision was turning blurry.

He couldn't handle all this in one day. It was only 7 AM, for god's sake.

He turned to an alleyway, catching his breath.

He sat down with his back against the cold wall. He put his knees up to his chest, hugging them as tears fell down his face.

How dare he? How could Shizuo just hug him like that and pretend like nothing ever happened?

It wasn't fair that Shizuo could play pretend while he couldn't.

Then Izaya began to doze off, his vision slowly fading out.

His world became black.

......

In the end, I always do end up alone.

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