(A/N: Edited chapter 4 (well the ending to it.) You guys can go check it out.)
He may seem cold-blooded, but he's more human and his heart is more brittle than anyone else... so much so that if you filled it with human love or betrayal, it'd break easily... which is why I think he chose to avoid it all from the start: to love humanity. Do you understand? Not to accept it, not to face it, but he chose to avoid it.
. . . .
Its been one month.
Its been one month since the incident.
And Izaya Orihara shut down to the world.
The day after the incident, the pain he was feeling was intense. It wasn't pain like someone hit him.
It was internal pain. And it hurt so much.
So he decided to share that pain with his humans.
Everything he feels, he must make his humans go through it too. Thats what he thought.
He taunted them,
"Youre boring."
"I see why your parents hate you."
"Youre as ugly as I thought youd be."
He even brought some to suicide.
He felt better, but it didnt last long.
Because he had his own taunts to worry about.
And that voice that taunts him,
Is no other than himself.
He himself is teasing himself.
It was torture to him.
He himself knows the truth.
But he doesnt want to accept it.
Izaya is in denial.
"You are no god,"
"You are just a plain boring human"
And then,
"You love Shizuo Heiwajima,"
He hated it.
"And Shizuo Heiwajima doesnt love you."
He hated it.
He refused to believe he loved that monster.
He refused it all.
But then one day,
He learned to accept it.
His other self, if thats what you would call it, consumed him.
Everything got to him.
Izaya started to believe his other self. Everything he told him he started to believe.
Deep down, Izaya knew the truth all along.
He knew that he loved Shizuo ever since. Even after he said to himself he wouldn't fall in love again.
He knew that Shizuo never loved him.
He knew his parents loved Mairu and Kururi more than they ever loved him.
He knew that he was never a god.
He knew he was just a human.
A pathetic human.
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liar (shizaya)
Fanfic**durarara** [ON HOLD] (!) warning (!) after falling in love with Shizuo, his life turns into hell.
