The Giant and His Heart. [Light at the end of the tunnel]

Chapter 6 - "The Start Of Something"

This giant is really crazy people! He has the nerve to ask why I haven't used his number? It's because I don't want to, you asshole, leave me alone! Liar! My brain said to me. Shut up brain! You don't know anything. That giant is mean, cruel, rude, and bossy...should I carry on? Because the list is long....a long list of negatives. And let's talk about him paying a cab to wait for me and take me home after work. Why would he do that? What's up with him wanting me to be safe? If he really wanted me to be safe he would stay away from me because he is the dangerous one here to me. I huffed out frustrated and annoyed. He even ruined the relaxing and peaceful hot bath I was just about to have. Damn him. I got in the bath telling myself that I won't reply to his text message, that I won't even thank him for the cab even though it was a little sweet that he would do that for me. I won't even stress myself worrying about how he even knew where I worked, because I didn't tell him. I remember him telling me the night that I saved him, that if I sneaked out and went home, he would find me. Who is this guy people? I mean he has to have connections if he could find someone without that said someone telling him where to be found. I shivered. I just realized that if he can find someone anywhere, then that means there is no escaping the giant...he could find me anywhere if he wanted to. This was not good guys. Let's hope that the giant runs out of this interest in me after he realizes that I'm not going to be using his number, no matter how much I'm tempted to. The giant was just too much for me. I mean I wouldn't be able to handle a man like him, and also there was the fact that I'm a virgin. He won't want to be with someone that is inexperienced and who doesn't want to have sex...I mean the giant looks like a man who really loves sex...and having sex with the giant would require me to take off my clothes and I won't be able to since I'm very insecure about my body. Oh my gosh! I'm getting carried away! Look at me thinking about the giant wanting to have sex with me, which might not be the case because I don't think he's attracted to me, I mean he said I was ugly for goodness sake! So...yeah...no sex with the giant. I didn't like the pain I felt in my chest when I thought about the giant not finding me attractive. I'm sure it was nothing. Whatever the giant wanted from me, I wasn't interested. I got out of the bath when the water started to get cold. Damn giant!

I was in my room now, sitting on the bed with my school books in front of me. I was so tired, I wanted to sleep so bad but I had to study since exams were close. Studying after coming back from my shift at the restaurant was always a hustle for me since I was always exhausted from being on my feet for so many hours. After I studied for like an hour or so, I heard my mother entering the apartment; I also heard a male voice. I sighed. Great! My mother brought home one of her boyfriends. I wonder who it was this time. I could never keep up with who she dated since she changed her boyfriends like she changed her underwear. I put away my books and took out my earphones from my bag...locked the bedroom door...switched off the light...and got in bed. I plugged in my earphones and listened to music because it was going to be a long night.

When my mother first brought home one of her boyfriends, I learned very quickly that my earphones were to be my new best friends, if I didn't want to hear noises coming from my mother's bedroom. Hearing your mother having sex, is not fun people, trust me. The first time it happened, I was confused by the noises she was making, then I soon caught on as to what was happening. To say I was horrified and disgusted was an understatement. I remembered how I tried to cover my ears with my hands and pillows but that didn't help to kill the moans and grunts. It had been terrible people. Maybe that unfortunate night contributed to the reason why the thought of sex made me feel uncomfortable. I had been 9 years old that time...so young...and my mother had scarred me. Because from her screams and shouts, I had concluded that sex was a brutal and dirty act. Over the years I have learned to drown out the noises with music. I could never understand why she would bring her boyfriends to the apartment. You would think as a mother she would protect her daughter from all of this but no, not my mother. After twisting and turning, I finally fell asleep.