People who don't understand what you're going through will tell you to 'let go' of a painful experience, as if you're willingly holding onto it. As though your feelings are your own fault for clinging onto memories you should be forcing yourself to forget. Painful experiences and the emotions they create don't work that way; there's no 'delete' button. What's happened has happened and nothing can change that. Though the pain you're feeling is a heavy burden, it's not one you willingly carry, and can simply 'put down' whenever. It's within you, it's a part of you, and it's changed you permanently. Over time you will grow stronger and smile again, despite what you've been through. That's when you'll learn that it was never about learning to 'let go,' but learning to carry it with you.
You don't appreciate what you have until you lose it. You say routines are boring, but when the rhythm changes, when that someone you love doesn't want you anymore, it'll hurt. You'll have to live your life without them; that'll be your new routine. It'll kill you the first couple days, weeks, months, and maybe years, but you'll eventually get used to their absence and move on. Sometimes, you have to accept life without your loved ones. You constantly thrive for that little incentive that keeps you alive, despite feeling dead inside. How can we live without just existing? Happiness gets stripped from our hearts whenever we remember that death is inevitable. Can we live foolishly thinking that life is full of butterflies and rainbows? Work on yourself: stop counting the days and start making them count. It seems so impossible, but never stop trying.
I know how it feels when everything falls apart, and the air you breathe seems suffocating. I know how deafening the sound of shattered dreams can be. It may be the worst moment of your life, and sometimes these moments seem never-ending. I know it feels suffocating when you can no longer lie about everything being fine, while you try to plaster a smile of your face, the very face that's shed tears silently in crowds, the very face that's seen life falling apart. Trust me, by the act of doing all this, how you look when you try to smile, and how you tolerate everything life throws at you, you're strong. It takes courage to live. It takes courage to breathe in and stay composed. It takes guts to walk on the road while your face is heavy with sadness. You're stronger than this storm. You're stronger than any hurricane that's swept you away from your goals. You may think that this feeling is unknown to me, but believe me, I've spent nights cursing my own existence, and days faking that life really is beautiful.
I hope you realize that everything has a meaning, and this pain will leave you soon. I hope you realize that you're still beautiful, despite the dark circles under your eyes. I hope you realize that your soul is a light this world needs. You're going to be okay, and one day, this pain will be something far away from the happiness that'll engulf you. I know this sounds like a fantasy, like a tale, but I hope you know that everything has an end. I hope you won't give up on yourself. I hope you won't give up on life itself. I hope you won't quit, even when breathing becomes a task. I hope you won't let the skies crumble before your eyes. I hope days will come where you'll appreciate everything you went through. I hope days will come where you'll understand why you had to go through such hardships. Happiness will knock at your door again, and I hope when it visits you, it stays long, to the point of you forgetting every pain that made you question your existence. I hope it visits your soul, and stays on your skin until your face glows.
