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Can't, Won't and Shouldn't

       I wake up earlly the next morning. I breath heaverly for a while, remembering the events of last night. I need to tell someone. Harry won't do hes the reason I can't let myself go out with Draco. Hermione wouldn't understand nor would Casandra. That leaves Raven and Ginny. Well I won't hold it back if it comes up but I'm not going to say either. Well I guess I could send a letter to Ellen she would understand and help me.

        I don't realy comprehend whats happening in any of my clases until potions. I am laughing with Raven when Sanpe comes in to start the leason. We fall silent instantly its as though Snape has this comanding power over his classes. Harry is just beging to forgive me and go back to normal but he won't come near me when I'm with Raven no one but him cares. Snape treats me as though I am a Slytherin he doesn't particually like.

"Today we will be making the Profous potion. Get into partners that are in the oposit house and are of the oposite sex" Snape says in a bored voice.

       What! Profous potion! The Profous potion forces you to tell the truth when asked a question directly, sometimes if the potion is powerful you act the way you wish when talking to someone. Snape isn't being a pedofile making us do it in partners of the oposit sex thats just when the potion works best, epecially in hormone crazed teens. I imedatley edge towards Jackson but Snape get impatient.

"Considering you can't follow a simple order I shall do it, Draco, Alexsanda, Granger, Crabb, Potter, Goyal, Weasley, Raven." Thats all I hear bcause I'm still comprending the first thing he said, Draco and Alexsanda I like it but I don't know if I can do it. I mean he probley hates me for droping the friend bomb. Snape screams at us to move to our partners. Draco doesn't move or do anything as I move over to him. But when I shift so I'm facing him I see something in his face an expression I myself have worn a hundred times. A look of longing followed by a plan forming which has an obvious flaw in it. At least he knows what hes doing. Snape tells us to begin and all the other groups begin getting ingredients and scwabbling over how exsactly to make it.

"Go and get the ingredients then" Draco says without looking at me. I glare at him and go over to Raven who is handing out ingredents. I don't know what I expected working with Malfoy but it most deffinatly wasn't that. I place the ingredents on the table and grab a knife I see Draco do the same. We don't talk we just chop until Draco's fingures slip on a root and would have sliced his fingre off if I hadn't stopped it.

"I had it" he says still not looking at me.

"Yer you would have had no fingures" I retort. He just shrugs and goes back to chopping I start up a silent conversation with Jackson. I'm laughing at his impression of Lavender who just happens to be his partner.

"What do you see in that little punk?" Draco asks now stirring the potion.

"I don't see anything in him."

"You'll go out with him but you will barley speak to me" Draco says in a hurt voice. Is that what it is hurt. Now he deffinatley isn't looking at me. I feel a stab in my heart. Oh what this must look like to him, he tells me he likes me, I tell him no then am openly friendly to Jackson. It must seem like I'm taking the fact that he felt or feels something for me and taunting him with it.

"Draco firstly we don't go out and I don't plan on ever going out with him, he is just my friend thats all, like it or not you of all people must know how I feel" I say dropping his gaze at the last part.

"We'll see, and why the hell should I of all people know how you feel?" He wispers mocking me silightly. Why do I get the sense he means more by that than just brushing me off. We do  not make direct eye contact all leason. Our potion is put with the others to simmer at the end of the class. I walk straight out of the dungons when Jackson comes up behind me.

"Hey I just got invited so I'm passing it on, there is this halloween ball that always happens in Slytherin common room so your invited, and before you ask it is a dress up party, and it starts at seven goes to 12" Jackson says in one breath.

"Thanks can't make any promises but I can probley come thanks." With that brief conversation I almost run up to Griffindor tower.

      I don't know what to do about Malfoy, and I have a quiddich game against Slytherin tommorrow. Annoyed I flop onto my bed only to find someone is already sitting cross legged on my bed. Ginny.

"Hey you had a ruff day too?" Ginny says, and as she does I notice a sadness in her eyes.

"Yeah but my problems can wait tell me about yours."

"I um well saw Harry obviously flirting with Cho Chang." Oh poor Ginny she's liked Harry forever and he likes Cho.

"Hey come on lover we watch a movie and eat junk food." I know it probely isn't very helpful but I don't know how to help her.

"Okay I'll do the movie spell do you want sneak down to the kitchens?"

"Sure."

     There realy isn't very much sneaking involved. I meet no resistance walking down. As soon as I entre the kitchens  Dobby runs up to me. Say what an honnor it is to surve me. I chat with him for a while. I have a certain softness since he did so much to help save Harry and help me save him. I grab my massive bucket of popcorn, eclairs and piles of chocolate and ice cream and bid goodbye to Dobby. I am lost in my thoughts about school when I bang into somthing hard. I drop my bottles of sodas I'm holding. I look up right into those storm eyes that haunt me.

"Draco what are you doing down here?"

"Getting food, you eatting that all by yourself?" He says with no emotion.

"Oh no me and Ginny are having a girls night."

"Okay well if your coming to the ball the password is serpent." With that very un helpful conversation he leaves me standing there with my heart sinking faster than a stone. I make my way up to Griffindor tower feeling worse than I have all day. When I walk in Ginny has done the spell and pulled the curtains round my bed.

"Hey before we start can you please tell me why your day has been so bad is it Malfoy? Ginny asks with real concern in her voice. Its inceridble how much of a good friend she is. I explain everything starting from the night in the pool.

"I just can't go out with him Gin" I say with deffinitate sadness.

"Can't or won't?" Never thought about it like that.

"Shouldn't" I confirm.
Sorry its been so long I've just got so many ideas for books I struggle to get around to everything. I promise I will do my best to do a good chapter next time. -queenmorgana