Dean's Diary - (Destiel) (BoyXBoy)

7th-January

Dear Diary.

Today everyone slept in, but I woke up quite early, it was really hot, actually it wasn't. Cas just had his body wrapped around mine, tight. but I didn't mind.

I looked over at Sam and Gabe and their faces were really close and their legs looked intertwined.

I lent down and kissed Cas on the forehead and his eyes began to open so I quickly closed my eyes. I felt him pull away from me muttering a small 'not again' before sighing and getting out of bed. I snuggled closer to the pillow, the bed feeling a lot more empty than it should have.

Cas made us breakfast and it tasted great before we took a three hour drive back to our home where Bobby and Ellen were playing poker. Which gave us a good idea...strip poker ;)

Not with Bobby and Ellen obviously, but once they went to bed we all decided it's be fun.

Sam, Gabe, Cas, Jo, Anna, Brooklyn and Hannah our neighbours sat around the circular table in the lounge room and played.

Brooklyn has a massive crush on Cas which annoys me, and it's so hard not to show.

Cas is really bad at poker so he was down to his boxers in no time. I'm not too bad so I still had pants, so did Sam. Gabe and most of the girls were down the boxers/undies and bra.

Brooklyn couldn't stop staring at Cas, my heart sank every time she bit her lip and stared at him with lust filled eyes. I glared at her a few times, mainly because Cas kept looking at her too...

Gabe was the first to loose, his punishment was running around the house naked. He did so as we all laughed quietly, careful not to wake Bobby and Ellen. Sam's face went red...I need a talk with him.

After Gabe, all the girls began to do really bad. Other than Jo, she had only taken off her top.

Three sets of boobs and not one made me feel anything.

But looking at Cas in a pair of...my boxers...he was wearing my boxers...now that made me feel something. I had to keep looking at the girls to make sure I wouldn't get a boner. Which is something I never thought I'd say.

"Cas, you're up" Sam laughed as Cas lost. He took his...my...boxers off and I tried my best not to look before he sat back down and his lower half was hidden by the table. We had all been drinking through this too. So I doubt any of the girls would have remembered most of this. Same with Sam and Cas, Gabe and I were still quite sober.

I thought I might as well have some fun so I began running my foot up the side of Cas's leg, he let out a soft moan and I giggled. I decided I better stop before people get the wrong idea.

I got up in nothing but my boxers and went to the kitchen to get another beer. When I got back Brooklyn and Cas were gone.

"Where's Cas?"

"He went to his room with Brooklyn"

"Oh" was all I said "night" I spoke after some hesitation and I went to bed and started writing this, imagining all the things Cas and that girl were doing...and I found tears forming in my eyes.

WHY!! WHY DO I HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THIS!!

I-nothing-no no nothing happened ...no dean...

Why do I have to be gay...

Why do I have to have feelings for my Bestfriend...

Dean has feelings for me...I should have worked that out before this entry...I now see it was quite obvious...I feel oblivious