Angel of Light [English Version] (Completed)

Chapter 21: Feeling out loud

Lexa was still lost in her feelings and thoughts, with her eyes lost among the stars and the white blanket of clouds out there. The plane had barely taken off before Lexa paid a brief visit to the bathroom. As Lexa passed the seat where Clarke was sitting, she looked at her for a moment, while her heart jumped but Lexa did not dare try anything else at the moment. It had become clear to her at the airport that the artist was in a very defensive and injured state, making her aggressive, and Lexa did not want to provoke Clarke anymore. The doctor simply went on her way to the bathroom, and when she returned she did not even want to look at Clarke again, the hurt in her chest and she did not want to get to Hawaii with that anguish on her face, she was supposed to surprise her sister and make the moment full of joy.

After a few minutes, a familiar voice brought her out of her deep thoughts, and Lexa turned her green eyes towards the person, unable to believe it, her heart stopped beating for a brief moment.

- Will it bother you if I sit beside you for a moment? - Clarke said, standing in the aisle, with her white cane in her hand. Lexa's face was a picture, while her heart skipped a beat.

- I do not think it will bother me as much as it will you - the words came out of Lexa's mouth before she could stop them, she was hurt by Clarke's earlier outburst and she couldn't hide it. Clarke simply grimaced, feeling the irony in the doctor's tone of voice, but not blaming her.

- Fine - Clarke nervously sat beside Lexa as she was determined the fix things between them after their heated talk at the airport, while Lexa still looked at her surprised, but deep inside she felt hope in Clarke wanting to talk to her.

- I've come to ask you to forgive me for being so aggressive at the airport. This whole business with you has awakened many negative things in me, and I have taken my anger out on you and your sister Alicia. And you're right, I do not know her, as I apparently don't know you either. Clarke was willing to apologize, but she would not lower her guard or apologize for looking out for her friend.

- Clarke, I - Lexa tried to explain again, but it was difficult for her to find the words, and the artist did not give her time, cutting her off.

- Let me finish, please... I have not come to talk about your past, or what you want to explain, I still do not feel ready to hear it. But it will not be forever. A part of me wants, needs to hear your explanation, but another part is still very angry and closed off inside me. Lexa, I know that you are a good person, but I have realized that I have allowed you to enter my life without thinking, without really knowing you and that has been a mistake. But we cannot change what we have done, right or wrong, we can only try to accept it and take new decisions. What I want to say is that you will have your chance to explain yourself, but I did not know when that will be, I cannot say. I do not hate you or hold a grudge against you, or I can even judge you. No one is immune to making mistakes in life, therefore no one has the right to judge, and I will not. - Clarke was pleased that she was able to clearly express what she wanted to say to the doctor without stopping.

Lexa paid close attention to Clarke's words which conveyed calm and determination, without that aggressiveness or defensiveness that Lexa experienced earlier and she felt a huge relief in her soul. Lexa understood the message that the artist was trying to give her and she accepted it, agreeing with her about everything. Perhaps the mistake both of them had made was not taking the time to know each other, to go more slowly in what they had started. Lexa smiled a faint smile, and her eyes gleamed, as she silently looked at Clarke, who had apparently finished saying what she wanted to, but Lexa could not find a reply immediately, and silence settled between them.

- Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, tea, water, juices, maybe an appetizer? - The voice of the nice and friendly hostess interrupted the silence between the two women and they both jumped in shock. Clarke let her head fall back onto the seat as she let out a breath, and Lexa raised her eyes to the woman who was speaking, trying not to express on her face how much she wanted to make her disappear.