Odell Beckham Jr. wasn't like any other football player who chase women for lust and lust only. He had eyes for one woman and did any and everything for her to be his.
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I literally felt so empty in this hell hole but I hit rock bottom and this was the only place that came to mind for help. I mean it's not that bad because I'm really trying to better myself but I just feel so out of place. I'm viewed as another crazy addict in here and it's low key driving me insane.
Some of the people in here are disrespectful and just overall angry, I've been tried twice by two people but I'm not trying to get days added on in here. Almost every week we have to sit in a circle and discuss why we're in here but I don't like participating, I don't wanna explain my trauma's to a group of strangers. If it was one on one then I would comply.
I've been in here for a month now with no contact with my family because the workers here say it's a distraction for me. I can't call them and they can't come visit me which is wrong but it's the rules. They can send letters though but so far I haven't gotten any, but maybe their just trying to let me get help and not worry about what's going on outside of here.
I can't count on one hand how many times I cried since I got here, I just want to go home but I can't leave here with no progress. I'm over being a alcoholic but I have to show them that I'm changing.
I miss my son so much and a part of me feels like I'm neglecting him since I just up and left for a month now, I'm trying to clean myself up for him though. This is the first time I actually miss hearing him whine all day. I love him so much and can't wait to see him again.
Honestly I miss Odell too, I know it seems like all we've been doing is arguing for months but when we were getting a fresh start I just had to drown myself in liquor dwelling on the past. I miss him goofing around, taking me out, and buying me flowers. I miss watching him play with Aiden whenever we were together though it was very rare since we been bumping heads lately.
I'm sure someone would tell me if I had common sense I should cut all ties with this man and just move on with my life. For some reason it's extremely hard to do that because deep down inside I know the kind of man Odell is, sure we argued but we had more positive times than negatives. It was a time when he treated me like the only girl in the world and since I got here that's all I thought back on to make me smile.
"Aaliyah?" I turned my head hearing my counselor Janiece call me. I raised my eyebrows not wanting to get up from my seat, I was on the back patio trying to have some alone time "Can you come with me? I wanna talk to you"
I sighed and stood up dusting off my pants following her back inside the facility. We walked down to the counseling room and I asked "Are you about to lecture me again?"
