Secret Rendezvous

Fight From the Inside

Okay, I'm just going to say now that timelines with Jim and Anita aren't going to be accurate, just because I don't want to wait forever to introduce them

And updates will be slow for a while because I'm really sick and I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong. I've seen several doctors and they said it could be diabetes, internal bleeding, hepatitis, colitis, thyroid disease, or just my imagination but I'll get it all figured out and we'll be back to normal soon! Thanks for the patience, and thanks for reading!

September 5, 1977

Freddie
The first eight months of Faria's life were overtaken by tours and album releases. I felt bad for the poor girl, we were really trying to be active parents in her life, but it was hard with our jobs and everything. But she was a happy girl, and her doctor said that everything was right on track for her growth- she was sitting on her own, pulling herself up to stand, and even talking a bit. Brian and I were proud of her, because she was such a smart little girl, but I couldn't help but feel like she didn't have a connection with us because we were gone so often- we couldn't help that, and we made sure to spend every second with her once we were home.

I woke up that morning, on my thirty-first birthday, and I felt... alone. Brian was there, but he barely spoke to me anymore. I didn't know what had happened between us in the eight months since we had Faria, but he was becoming more and more distant with every passing day. I still loved him, but it was hard to live with him.

To be completely honest, I had kept my flat... I told Brian that I sold it, and that I was done with it, but I kept it because I was afraid that he'd want to leave me at some point. I knew it was terrible of me to think that, but I just needed a backup, just in case. I still had Faria's room set up, and the two of us could go at any time.

"Morning." Brian smiled when he walked into Faria's room with a laundry basket full of clothes. "Hello, sweet girl." He crouched next to me and Faria squealed while she tired to reach out for him.

I slowly passed her to him and he kissed my head in thanks. He was doing a lot of that lately, kissing my head. He would never kiss me, or touch me, but he sure liked to kiss my head. It felt like something you'd do when you don't really love the person, but moreso you like them. Maybe he just liked me- I felt like we needed more time to date if we were going to get married, it all just felt like it was happening too quickly.

"She was saying dada this morning." I told him while he rubbed Faria's back- she didn't like being burped anymore, so we just rubbed her back until she let something out. "I think she was waiting for you to go and get her this morning, she was kind of pouty when she saw me." I chuckled, softly.

"That isn't very nice of you, especially because it's baba's birthday today and we have to be nice to him." He kissed her head, then he smiled down at me. "Happy birthday." He hummed and I thanked him with a little smile. "How're you feeling today? Older?" He joked, and I laughed a bit, biting my lip after and trying to keep myself from saying anything.

I didn't know why I was feeling so awkward with him, but something just started to change as Faria got older. It all felt forced, like we were forcing our relationship just so she could be happy. We both wanted her to be happy, because she was our daughter, but it just felt like we should've been friends... I liked us better when we were just friends.

But maybe we just also needed to have sex. Sometimes we'd fuck, then we'd be so in love the next day- it had been a while since we had sex, so maybe he was getting blue balls.

"Do you think we could take Faria to your mum's for my birthday?" I asked, quietly, and Brian smiled while he looked down at me.

"You want to?" He asked and I nodded with a bit of a hum. "Yeah, I can go and give her a call. I'm sure nana would love spending time with her girl." He tickled Faria's belly and she squealed.