Secret Rendezvous

Falling in Love

Sorry for taking forever! My bloodwork came back clear, but now I have to get a bunch of scopes because they think I may have torn something in my stomach. So that's cute for me, I guess.

December 15, 1977

Brian
Freddie was trying to make it seem like he was happy without me, but something was telling me that he missed me and wanted me back home. Roger said he had been spending time with another man, and I was really hoping that he wasn't bringing this person around Faria- I didn't want this strange man around my daughter because I didn't know what he did for a living, who he was, and what his intentions were.

I had to drop her off that day, and Roger told me that this man was going to be at Freddie's flat, so maybe I would get to meet him and see how he was with my baby. I hated going to drop her off, but something just felt off balance with our relationship and we were better as friends- despite him not really wanting to be my friend any more.

I hated packing Faria up because it meant that I wouldn't see her for a week or so- we were still working things out, so I got her for a week and Freddie got her for a week. But sometimes it would change based on what we had planned- for example, I had gotten Faria for a week and three days because apparently Freddie's new little boyfriend came to town and they wanted to spend time together but he wasn't ready to introduce him to Faria yet.

She was several days away from her first birthday and Freddie said that I could come and spend the day with them- I was thankful that he was good at sharing.

"Come and sit while daddy packs your bag." I kissed Faria's head, then I took her to her bedroom so she could play while I packed. "You'll have to show baba your new trick." I smiled when she pulled herself up against the side of the crib.

Something told me that she would be walking soon- she seemed ready and Robert was already walking when he was her age. She was growing up so quickly, and I wished I could have kept her small forever- Freddie and I were happier when she was small.

Okay, well, maybe not happier, but we were a complete family. As soon as she was born, my feelings flipped and I didn't know how to explain it but something just wasn't the same as it was before we had Faria. I wished it could've been, but Roger said Freddie was a lot happier with this new man- however, he did seem to move on pretty quickly so it seemed fishy.

"You have to call me if this new boyfriend of baba's is bad news, you hear me? I don't want anyone near you that may be bad news." I looked to Faria and she giggled, sucking on her fist. "I don't want you to go." I sighed once her backpack was all packed and ready- she didn't have much to share between the two houses aside from nappies, bottles, and her blanket, so we just packed a little backpack that she could bring around with her.

Faria continued to smile at me, biting her little fingers and cooing around them, like she was talking to me. She was slowly getting chattier and I thought it was pretty cute- Freddie talked to her a lot, so she was starting to pick up on his little mannerisms, like she would move her hands in the same way he would move his hands while in conversation. She really was a mini-curly haired Freddie.

I took Faria out to the car and I sighed while I got her strapped into her seat- she looked so grown up now that she wasn't in a carrier, it made me sad. I missed my little baby, now she was getting to be a big girl and I felt like I was missing out.

I drove to Freddie's flat and I frowned when I saw the unfamiliar car parked in front- well, that car could've belonged to anyone, but it just worried me because he was actually there and I didn't want him meeting my daughter yet. Fuck, I hated feeling that way because Freddie was allowed to be in love with other people, and he was allowed to date, but it was so hard- I had no romantic feelings for him but it just felt so wrong.