Mga Tulang Walang Patutunguhan

unsent poem

As I lie stupidly to myself everyday

Watching you look at your sky today

Over the glass window that cannot be opened

Inside the room where our stay will soon end

As I stare at your nape, I picture what could be

What should be, what may be, what can't be

The gabby classmates continue to chatter

Fading out slowly as I remember your poem's wager

I am going to miss you and your black and white bag

Your humor, your silent laugh, your constant concerned nag

You in a white collared uniform, juggling life and grades all the same

You, never ceasing, never giving up, pessimistically optimistic with an aim

If everything were to end in our graduation night

Then everything should end with no tears, feeling light

I'd spend my last few days with you in this damned school

And try not to mess everything up like a fool 

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Here are things I can probably never tell you

A list of things that you never knew

I am a cretin when it comes to figuring out how

These things can reach you, so I'll write them down now

You always look peaceful, ironically

No matter how everything might fall frustratingly

I can be calmed by the mere sight of you

And the mere idea of you

There came a time when I wished I never met you

Pulling you inside my world, my problems, my view

You'd be better off not meeting a girl with a parental problem

You don't deserve to be sucked in into my system

Flash forward to today, alas these feelings arose

Irony at it's finest, I suppose

Thank you for staying and sticking around

For being the best best friend that I have ever found

At times I think and think and think and think

Doubts grow big and the more I shrink

Will he fall for another best friend?

Will this poem reach you in the end?

My life is a series of bad decisions and broken promises

And if I fail to express myself, do forgive my selfishness

I am conceited, self centered, insecure and a half wit when unfiltered

I am used to people who change and change again after being weathered

I am scared