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Clink. Clink. Clink.
The tip of my fingernail connected with the rim of the glass in my hands again. The clear liquid inside it rippled, then stilled, and rippled again as I knocked against the side.
I knew I wasn't ever going to drink it, even if I was in the presence of company I considered safe. The memories attached to a simple glass, even if it had been long since I'd left their birthplace, had too strong a hold on me.
Three years.
Three years since I'd left my old life behind.
"Hey, Hwang!"
My eyes flashes to the bartender as soon as he turned his back, scanning the contents of the open under-the-counter cabinets. I almost flinched as someone landed on the seat next to me, but the easy smile that took the place of the earlier frown on my face wasn't hard to fake.
Then why does it feel like I never left?
The dancing lights flashed around us, and I squinted through them to be able to make out the face of the person who had just joined me. The voice had been hard enough to recognize through the mixture of voices, even though my instincts from three years ago hadn't left me.
The plastic smile turned into a real one as soon as I managed to identify who had taken the seat next to me. "Hey," I said by way of greeting, observing the slightly crazed grin on the newcomer's face.
Moving had been like taking on a new identity. After everything I had been through, the criminal persona I had taken over had consumed whatever I had once been made of, and I had no idea who I was supposed to be when I had first moved into my new home.
No name changes, no surgery, but our record had been wiped clean. One would think that a clean slate would mean I had deeper bonds with whoever was left, but the only thing it had brought me closer to was my own self. New life meant nothing more to me than a new place. But the past still felt like a shackle latched on to my ankle, weighing me down like an anchor dragging me behind, threatening to pull me under.
The silence between and my current companion was comfortable, filled in by the music and the various noises of humanity. Over the years, I had grown accustomed to college parties. Despite how wild they were, you could hardly compare them to their underworld counterpart.
My identity had been swallowed whole by the horrific circumstances surrounding my past. All I was now included a criminal, a prosecutor, and a victim all at once, set into a single syllable.
Who was I?
I was a Hwang.
"Birthday girl giving you a hard time again?" I yelled over the loud music, hoping that he'd be able to hear me.
