thirty five

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slowly growing used
to our dulled feelings

"I know I'm supposed to be dying," Vernon mumbled, leaning heavily against me as I pulled him towards the house, "but I feel so turned on right now

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"I know I'm supposed to be dying," Vernon mumbled, leaning heavily against me as I pulled him towards the house, "but I feel so turned on right now."

"Can't blame you," Ten said emphatically.

Next to him, Jaebum rolled his eyes in utter disgust. It wasn't hard for me to suppress a smile at the little interaction. The warning bells in my brain that had calmed down after the moment of peace in the car had started going off the moment we had pulled up outside the safe house, and I didn't care for anything other than getting Vernon back inside and getting his wound bandaged up.

"You're supposed to be dying, buddy," I muttered, patting his chest lightly. The blood on my hands had dried, leaving them feeling smooth and slightly sticky, like they had dried glue on them. "Get the wound stitched, take a cold shower, and go to bed. You'll be asleep before you can say sex."

"You said that on purpose," he slurred. "Sex."

"You're delirious," I muttered. Yeeun greeted us inside, her upper lip twitching in disgust as she took in the sight of our bloody clothes. "Take him," I said, gesturing to Vernon. "Jungkook shot him. Shoulder. It's already been more than fifteen minutes and he's still bleeding."

"If it's already been fifteen minutes, it's not that bad, speaking in terms of life or death," she answered in the same unemotional tone, and gestured to Jaebum to support Vernon. "He'll be fine. I'll remove the bullet and give him something to staunch the flow, but that's all. Stitching up wounds makes me uncomfortable. You'll have to get someone else for that."

"That's surprising," I muttered, feeling my entire body relax at her words. He'll be fine. The magic words. I doubted whether she was just saying that to make me feel better. "I'm going upstairs to sleep. Are the others still outside?"

"It's just the five of us. And Taeyong, of course, but I expect he'll be asleep by now." Yeeun glanced at her watch. "It's late. The others should be back in a couple of hours or so. Pick off the bodies."

I nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted. Jaebum muttered something under his breath as he carried Vernon away, following Yeeun to the supplies room. Ten glanced at me, all his playful perverseness washed away by a weary concern. "You good?" he asked after a moment of hesitation. "Anything you need?"

"Not that I know of, but thanks," I replied.

He raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'll make sure to wake you up if I need anything."

"Don't count on that," he said, smiling, and turned away. I watched him go, feeling an unexpected gratitude rise up in me. I remembered the blonde escort, and closed my eyes, leaning against the doorframe for support. It felt like my defenses had been scrapped, leaving me bare and unguarded, and I wasn't sure if I liked it. On one hand, it made me feel unsafe, but on the other hand, it left me more relaxed than I had been ever since the beginning of the events that had left me this way.

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