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"How are you feeling?"
I blinked, breaking out of my reverie when I heard Yeeun speak. Her expression was as calm as usual, but I had now been around her long enough to notice the tiny signs of unease—the unsteady eye contact, the inwards twitch of her eyebrows, as if they wanted to frown but couldn't. She asked the question quietly, trying not to disturb the decorum of the room, but it was no use. No one was coming out of their sorrow anytime soon.
Chaeyoung hadn't come back, and neither had Seulgi. I hadn't seen Jun, even though I had been told he resided in the same safe house. And, oh, we'd moved to a safe house again.
I wanted to see him, to console him and find a way to apologize for what I had said at the same time, but I didn't know how. There were too many things I had to deal with at the moment—that was almost always true—and I didn't want my confused elation at having found lost family interfere with my empathy at having lost family in the first place. Perhaps it was better if he didn't see me. There were better people he could meet.
"I'm fine," I muttered, not sure why I was lying since there seemed to be no point. No one could be fine after receiving such greats shocks in the matter of a few hours; I felt like a tree which was in the process of being uprooted. "It's just...there are things you have to think about when you discover a hidden sibling."
She smiled. It was a tiny smile, no bigger than a fraction of an inch, but it felt like an achievement. "What's his name?"
"Hyunjin," I said, the name rolling off my tongue awkwardly. I still wasn't used to the idea, and as usual, I had a lot of questions about him. Honestly speaking, I was getting a way too tired of having to ask around so much and never getting a straight answer. At this point, I knew to just shut up and wait for the tapestry to unveil itself.
"Hwang Hyunjin," she repeated, slow and savory as if trying to taste the name. "It has a nice ring to it."
I shrugged. She glanced at me for a second, then pushed off the table's edge. "Taeyong was looking for you."
Instantly, I was alert. There were a lot of mixed emotions rising in me at the thought of seeing him, tinged with irrepressible guilt and an incontrollable need to see him anyway. "He's awake?"
"Hasn't been up for long, but yes." She looked at me oddly, and I had the strangest feeling she knew what I was thinking about and exactly what had happened last night. "Ten said you should wait a little longer before going up, but you're probably not willing to listen, and I don't really feel like interfering."
I straightened, shooting her a grateful look. She was the only one I could be straightforward with, since she seemed not to care about the other stuff. Which could be bad, granted, but I was willing to pull myself into any boats. Much better than drowning completely.
