forty one

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I'm colored with you
you fill my heart

I'm colored with youyou fill my heart

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I couldn't sleep that night.

It was hardly surprising, given all that I had to face in a matter of hours, but I had hoped to catch a few hours of rest before D-day, since I knew I'd need all the energy I had. For hours, I tossed and turned, digging my fingers into the pillows and curling into myself, but nothing worked. Even when my eyes were closed, my mind stayed wide awake, thinking about doomsday and other trivial topics that robbed the remnants of sleep from my eyes.

Finally, at around two, I gave up, sitting up in my bed. A sudden weariness washed over me—not the physical kind, but the sort of unrest that made me want to do something to distract me from whatever thoughts were coming next. I slipped out of bed and made my way downstairs as quietly as a cat, careful not to wake the others. All the doors and windows were firmly shut save for one, which showed the moon high in the sky. I stared at it for a long time before turning away.

I wasn't sure why I headed for the basement. The only times I had visited had shown bad outcomes—once when Jungkook had called for a meeting, and the other when Hyunjin had yelled at me. Neither of them had ended badly, though, seeing as I was doing better with Hyunjin and Jungkook was, well, dead, but there was still an aura of foreboding around the place that kept me away. Maybe that was why I was drawn to it, because my state of mind reflected that very aura.

To my surprise, it wasn't empty. Vernon was there, standing among the bits of old furniture, unloading and reloading a handgun. He didn't look up when I entered, and although my entry had been silent, I guessed he was aware of my presence. I didn't speak until I was next to him, close enough to see the lines of worry on his face that hadn't been there a few days ago. "Couldn't sleep?"

He shrugged, and set down the gun with a sigh. The surface of it was polished, so well that I could see my face reflected in the barrel. "Couldn't stay still," he said. "I was pretty tired by the end of the day, so I thought I'd have no problem falling asleep." His tone turned dry. "I should've known better, after so many years."

I reached up, brushing the back of my hand against his cheek. His eyes met mine, and a shudder passed through me. I had thought that I would get used to him after so long together, but the novelty never wore off. The tension was still the same, like our own gravity, drawing us together.

"I couldn't stop thinking about what the heir told me, back when..." I trailed off, but understanding passed through his face. "He kept mentioning Baekhyun. I know he said he wanted me to join him for the power we could share together, but I can't help but think there's something off."

Vernon's hand found mine, interlacing our fingers together. He gazed down at me, looking thoughtful. "What do you think?" he asked, and I felt a moment of relief that he had faith in me. Most people would dismiss my opinions, but he always listened, always weighed my words.

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