It Hit Me Hard [Destiel- Highschool- Human!Cas]

The symptoms prevail.

Castiels POV:

I spent moths at a time in that hospital. We lost our apartment because I couldn't get a job. Not in the state I was in.

"I'm selfish" I said one day to no one believing that Dean was asleep.

"No your not." Dean said from beside me making me jump. "Don't ever think or say that."

I should have known he would of caught me saying something like that.

"But I made us loose that beautiful apartment. All because I couldn't get a job."

"Cas-" Dean squeezed my hand. "I don't give a shit what we loose as long as we have each other."

I tried to keep the words in, for his sake and mine, but they spilled out along with tears.

"But what if I loose you?" I laid my head on his stomach and he ran his hand through my hair.

He shush me silently, but the thing that killed me, what still kills me to this day.

He never even tried to tell me he wouldn't die. That he wouldn't leave me.

I eventually fell asleep, but not for long. Never for long.

By the time I woke up Sam was in the room sitting in the other chair.

I checked my watch.

"Why are you here and not in school?" I asked Sam.

"I left."

"You left. And nobody said anything?"

"Well the office asked where I was going but the only person to really try and stop me was Gabe."

"Gabe?"

"Gabriel. Remember, the reason I started living with Bobby."

"Oh, yeah." I paused. "Go back to school."

"No."

I didn't try and argue with him. I'm in the same boat as him. I understand.

"Anal pasta!" I heard yelled from out side the room.

Sam giggled and I could feel Dean shaking from quiet laughter.

"Mr. Celby can you please go back in your room?!" Yelled who I'm guessing is a nurse.

"I wish to have the lobster!" We all cracked up laughing.

I guess in the small world deprived of happiness we had the smallest rings could be funny.

"I needed that laugh." Dean said smiling. He tilted his head to looked at me.

I kissed him softly on the lips then once more of his check.

There was a small nock on the door.

"Hey boys," Ellen said walking in with take out in her hands. "Sorry about that outburst, we have a patient with a problem." She paused and looked at Sam.

"Your supposed to be in school.. But I figured you would be here." She tossed him a bag. She did the same for me. The food inside was for Dean and myself.

"Now Dean, I'm your doctor and I say eat the hamburger."

"I'm not objecting to that doc."

They joked like this, partly to humour themselves and partly to hope it humours us.

It can sometimes get a cheep chuckle or a small smile that means nothing really, but it's for there Benefit.

"Okay well Dean give me you arm."

Dean raised his arm to Ellen could grab it.

She checked the IV tube to make sure it kept pumping what ever it was.

"Tomorrow we will have to run you through some tests, then we can see your progress."

"I don't like tests." Dean complained, "I never pass them."

Ellen was silent while she switched out the IV bags, she opened the door to leave but turned around and have us a small sad smile.

So far we think Dean got liver cancer because he had liver failure making it weak. But we're not sure.

A few weeks went by and Dean started to develop "jaundice" that's when there is a build up of the chemical "bilirubin" which is made in the liver, it also turns you a pale sickly yellow.

The jaundice Also made him itchy, so he had scabs from scratching his arms and legs and scalp and everything.

A bout a month after the jaundice problem he began to have swelling in his abdomen area. Ellen said it was either because the tumour was growing or "ascites", a fluid, building up in his abdomen.

I hate medical terms. There so long and bland.

"Cas," Dean said looking at me, I hadn't realised that I was falling asleep.

"Hmm?"

"Please don't go to sleep on me. I want you to be awake now. With me."

"Of course." I said smiling a almost invisible smile and lent down to kiss him. "I'll never leave you."

A/N~~~~

GUYS I AM SO SORRY BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM NOT!! Soorrrryyyyyyyy!!!!!