It Hit Me Hard [Destiel- Highschool- Human!Cas]

The funeral.

Castiels POV:

I thought the worst of it was over.

I couldn't of been more wrong.

He didn't have a will. Or much family.

I threw on my old black tux and walked out of the small room I occupied at Bobby's.

I went down the old creaky stairs hearing ever little noise. The others had already left. They wanted to be early so they could make sure everything was in place.

I walked through the old house touching the old books Dean probably poured over as a child.

I found a picture of Dean that for a wallet. He was so happy, young, happy. I slid it out from under the stacks of paper on the desk, and slid it into a slot of my wallet knowing Bobby, wouldn't mind.

I walked over the single rose that rested on table that I had bought earlier.

"I wish my man would buy me flowers." The girl behind the counter had said when I went up to pay.

I didn't want to be a mood kill, so I just put up a small smile and paid for the flower.

When I picked it up my ring finger got pricked by one of the thrones.

I dropped the flower out of reflex and examined my finger. It was fine.

I looked at the ring on my hand and slowly slid it off.

I lifted it to my face.

I didn't notice what was scrawled along the inside of the wedding band before then.

"Always shine for me, brighter than Saturn."

I slid it back onto my hand crying and lifted the flower once again with more care.

I stepped out of that old beat up house that Dean used to go to with Sam. It was there safe haven, and my prison.

The lingering smell of the liquor Dean drunk kept me there, the shadows of his child form running around with a younger brother.

The distance from that house to my car felt like a life time.

I got my stupid white car back. The one that made me meet Dean in the first place.

I got in and started the car. I guess that I had left my radio on from the last time I was in it and a song I didn't recognise was blaring.

"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia.

And forget about the stupid little things,
Like the way it felt to sleep next to you.

Or the memorise I never can escape, cuz' I'm not fine at all."

I slammed my fist into the radio, causing it to cut out. I then proceeded to claw the stupid thing out of my car with my hands.

I chucked the thing out the window towards the junk yard.

I stepped on the petal and shot out of the driveway. I sped down the country roads all the way to where we were burying him.

I reached the small plot of land at "Lazarus" and parked.

I got out of the car after several minuets.

I walked over to the small group of his family and friends.

Which consisted of me, Sam, Bobby, Ellen, Charlie, Jo, and Kevin.

It was the only people he would of wanted to show up.

I walked up to the open casket just in front of a six foot hole body sized.

I slid off my engagement ring and placed it in his hands.

"Good bye." I whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek.

I went back to the group, and I cried.

I cried for so long.

Everyone was.

Bobby told a generic speech, I would have listened but I couldn't focus, all I could focus on was that long black box.

After a while they lowered it into the hole and everyone took turns throwing in big bouquets of flowers.

I stepped up and tossed my one flower in watching it fall and hit the hard cold box.

A few dead leaves has fallen in, I looked around and noticed that it was around autumn.

I don't know how I missed that.

I don't remember much else from that day. Or that month really. Just a lot of sleeping, and crying.

I never thought I would cry this much.

I later had the drawing Dean had made framed.

I put it on the wall and put a small shelf beneath the picture. On the shelf was a dried out rose, and a small picture of Dean that I had on my phone.

A/n--

I am a horrible author for keeping you waiting for so long. I don't even have an excuse.

One last chapter. You guys ready?