Whatever Occurs: Life, Love, and Loss

Happy Birthday Kayla!

You wake up on Wednesday, July 22nd to hear Ethon yelling, "Hello! Good morning! Wake up! Wake up!" at least ten times before you finally get up.

"Happy Birthday Lovey," Ethon gleefully says.

Hahahaha. Thank you Ethon," you reply.

You both shower together, because you want to be in the lobby with everyone else by eight o'clock. You even use the same towel to dry off with. You don't bother to blow dry your hair, or even towel dry it. You just use a wide tooth comb to get the tangles out.

You and Ethon get dressed, take your stuff with you, lock up, and head back down to the lobby to join everyone else for breakfast. You are greeted with a synchronized "Happy Birthday Kayla!"

You blush. You and Ethon find a place to sit down after grabbing some breakfast, then Tommie plops down next to you. She pretends to be an interviewer.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I think we've got a birthday up in here!" Tommie exclaims before asking you, "what's your name, madam?"

"Kayla."

"And how old are you today, Kayla?"

"I'm fifty-nine years old."

"What is your biggest wish today, Kayla?"

"I wish death was never a thing."

"Ooh, that's a good one! Hey everyone, let's sing happy birthday to Kayla!" Tommie yells.

Everyone sings the Happy Birthday song to you, and you can't help but chuckle. Your family comes up to hug you before you get to eat your breakfast. You tell Ethon, "I cringe every damn time people sing the Happy Birthday song."

"I thought I was the only one!" He whispers.

"You know what pisses me off? After fifty-nine years, I still have no eyebrows. No matter how long I let them grow out for, I can never see a single hair!"

"Do you use castor oil?" Malyssa wonders.

"No, what's that?"

"Castor oil really helps with hair growth. I put half a bottle of it in my shampoo, a quarter bottle in my deep conditioner, and another quarter bottle in my leave in conditioner. You can use it for your brows too, just dip a spoolie in it, swipe it over your brows, and you're all set!"

"Have you been trying to grow your hair out?"

"Yes, I have been. Hair loss isn't too big of a struggle for me during pregnancy, but I use it anyway, just to start growing in some more hairs."

"I'll try it out. Thank you so much, Malyssa."

When everyone finishes breakfast, you and Ethon ride with Scott and Anica to the nursing home in their rental car. You keep your backpack on the floor beneath your feet. You then look through your voicemails, and listen to one Spencer sent to you on your birthday last year.

"Hi Mom, I wanted to tell you happy birthday! I hope you have a great day today, and I'd love for you to call me back any time you get the chance. Make good choices, eat your veggies, and stay awesome. I love you so much!"

You wish you never took any phone calls from him for granted. You mouth, "Spence, I miss you. Please come back."

You nap on Ethon's shoulder for the forty-five minutes it takes to get from the hotel to the nursing home. He wakes you up when you get to the nursing home.

You and everyone else checks into the nursing home, eager to see your mother. You all get quiet when you near the door to Room 269. You knock on the door.

"Come in!" Your mum yells.

You walk in and say it's you, along with everyone else who's with you. Your mum glances up at you and asks, "is it your birthday today, dear?"

"It is."

"Happy Birthday, Kayla Melissa. I am so proud of the woman you've become. I can't believe you're already fifty-nine years old! It feels like yesterday since you came into my life. I looked into those big, beautiful, blue eyes of yours and said, 'I promise to love you, protect you, and cherish you everyday for the rest of my life.' To this day, that promise still stands. You're a very beautiful, smart, compassionate, and stubborn woman whom I love so very much."

"Thank you, Mum. I love you to Heaven and back."

"Well, she's a Cancer," Tommie responds, "Of course she is stubborn as a mule."

Your mother laughs with everyone else before replying, "t'is true. You're definitely the emotional, stubborn type." Then she smiles, grips your hand with her left hand, pulls you in with her right hand, and gives you a light forehead kiss. She stares into your eyes and smiles. You can't help but look into her eyes.

Roscoe whispers, "I brought my Polaroid camera with me! I just put some more film in it this morning!"

"Do you want to take pictures with the whole family?" Fred asks.

"I do! I want to be able to look back and cherish moments like these forever and ever until I die."

"But, Roscoe... shouldn't you ask Mum first?"

"You can take pictures with me, son!" Your mum replies.

Everyone gets to take pictures with your mother, including you. Roscoe prepares for several group pictures as well, and he gets the pictures printed out. When he hands you a few copies of the photos, you put a photo with you and your mum in your phone case.

"Thank you for doing this, Ross," your mum tells Roscoe, "I want you all to know that I'm beyond thankful for the time I have gotten to spend with you before I go. You all mean the whole world to me. I wouldn't change a thing in not even one minute out of all of these eighty-nine years I've been alive."

You look around the room. You fix eyes with everyone who looks at you. You gaze back at your mother. You look back at all of the memories you made with her, and your heart overflows with gratitude. Reality hits again and your mind starts to run a million miles an hour. Scenarios form in your head and you proceed to overthink, per usual.