Whatever Occurs: Life, Love, and Loss

Mum?

You, Ethon, and your family all arrive at the nursing home. You go inside to check in.

"Hello, how are you doing today?" The receptionist asks.

"I'm feeling drained," you say honestly.

"I'm sorry. What can I do for you?"

"Everyone here is with me. We would like to see Cynthia Mara."

"What is your relationship to her?"

"She's our mother."

"She is in Room 269 just upstairs."

"Thank you madam."

You and your family head upstairs to Room 269. You all get very quiet when you approach the door. You knock.

"Come in," a breathy voice yells.

You open the door very slowly. When you see her, you whisper, "Mum? It's Kayla. And I'm here with Scott, Tommie, Roscoe, Fred, and Chesney. The whole family is here to see you."

Your mother opens up her sleepy eyes, then widens them when she sees you. She says, "holy crap. How old are you guys now?"

You remember how your father died last year from dementia. As a result, it broke your mum's heart because they were married for seventy years before she was widowed.

"I'm going to be fifty-nine next week!" You remind her.

"I'm sixty-seven," Scott says.

"I'm sixty-five," Tommie jumps in.

"Sixty-two," Roscoe replies.

"Sixty-one," Frederick responds.

"I'll be fifty-seven in August," Chesney states.

"This is why I wanted time to stop before Scott became a teenager!" Your mum exclaims, then asks you, "when exactly is your birthday? I know I should know this, and I feel shitty for not knowing, but please help me out."

"July 22nd, 1961."

"Oh yes, I remember that day very well. I really wish you didn't resent me and Dad for kicking you out when you were pregnant at nineteen years old. I knew long ago, when you moved to America, that I made a huge mistake."

"No Mum, I understand. Beaudry was a young father at twenty-one years old when he had Carissa, but I still helped give him and Khloey what they needed until he was able to get back on his feet again. I love living in America, but I'm always happy to come back home to Scotland. That's the purpose of traveling!"

"Do you know why you're here this time, Kayla?"

"Yes, I do. I am not ready."

"I wasn't ready to lose my mum either. Time fixes everything, right?"

"Wrong."

"Bingo. I never figured out how to live without my parents, but I managed to carry on. Can you promise me something, Kayla Melissa?"

"Anything for you, Mother... as long as I can keep that promise."

"When I die, please don't cry for me. Do not stand at my grave and weep, because I will not be there. My body will be dead, but my spirit will still live on. I've spent these last several weeks making everything right with God, should I enter those Pearly Gates of Heaven. Rather, remember that I will be with you everywhere you go, and I will work alongside my Heavenly Father to protect you from all evil."

"Mum? Do you want me to be honest?"

"Why, of course!"

"I can't promise you any of what you just said. It will be extremely hard, almost impossible! ...but for you, Mum, I will try."

"That's all I want to hear, love."

You put your hand on your chest and breathe a big sigh of relief. Your mum gazes all around the room, then looks back at you. "Where's Spencer, my dear?" She asks.

You cover your eyes, ready to bawl again. You manage not to cry, then you reply, "he's gone. He's not with us anymore."

"Ah yes, I remember now. Dammit, I know he wanted to come see me. I remember seeing him at least two summers ago."

"Oh Mum, he loved you!"

"And I love him so much more than I can say. I always have, and I always will. Don't worry, I'll take care of him for you when we join together."

Teardrops start swelling up in your eyes. You can't bear the fact that your mother is going to die very soon now. Your voice cracks when you tell her, "Mum... my heart is breaking. For him and you."

"Life is all about heartbreak. It's nothing BUT tears, stress, hell, and pain. I will pray for you. We will all pray for you."