Whatever Occurs: Life, Love, and Loss

Lifeless

One morning, you wake up to a door closing. You open your eyes, and no one is there. You don't know if the nurse was doing a test, or if that person was checking to see if anyone was awake. You find out later on.

After lunch, the nurse comes in to give you and your family the results of a test that was done. She has a sad look on her face the whole time. She sighs when you look up. Nika, Bryan, and Nolan all look like they're going to cry.

"So what does this mean?" Nika asks. She already knows what it means, she just wants the nurse to say it.

"Bad news," she says, "I've been a nurse for at least ten years now, and even there, I still don't know how to do this. I never know how to tell good people bad news."

You already know what this means for Spencer.

"There's nothing we can do. He's not going to live. So it's up to you guys, whether to pull the plug, or keep him on life support. Either way, it's a losing battle."

She looks down, sighs, looks up again, and speaks, "I am so sorry, Nika."

Nika hugs Bryan and Nolan, and cries with them. She tells everyone else the news when they come in. Spencer stares at them with a look of gloominess.

"He's lifeless," Nika cries as her voice cracks, "it's time for him to go. I wish it didn't end this way, but it would be very selfish of me to keep him there just because I didn't want to deal with the grief."

Bryan nods his head in agreement, then shakes it in disbelief.

"It's for his best interest," Nolan concurs.

Nika, Bryan, and Nolan all go up to hug Spencer and tell him they loved him one last time before pulling the plug. Everyone else does, including Ethon and yourself. Spencer starts to look fearful.

You are practically speechless, but still try to speak anyway. "Spencer, my love, when I realized I was pregnant with you, I promised myself that I would love you everyday for the rest of my life. I still hold true to that promise. I always have, and I always will. Lest these be my last words spoken to you, I want to tell you that I love you, and I can't wait until we meet again. You are everything to me, and I am beyond thankful for the thirty-six years I got to share with you, Spencer Kenneth Venston."

You lay eyes on Spencer, yet can't see him clearly from all the tears swelling up in your eyes. Ethon comes up from behind and puts his hands on your shoulders after speaking to Spencer one last time. He takes one last sorrowful glance at him before the nurse takes him off life support.

Everyone, including the nurse, watches as Spencer takes his last breaths, making everything right with God. He ends by saying "Heavenly Father, take me home."

His heart rate is undetectable. The nurse checks for his heartbeat, and she can't make out a single one. His brain activity stops completely. She pronounces that Spencer is now dead. Your eyes hurt from crying so hard, but your heart is crying even harder. You physically feel it break.

You feel Ethon, Beaudry, and Malyssa put their hands on your shoulders. Your whole face is an unhealthy shade of red, and now has hand prints after you tried to hide your tears for so long. Nika, Bryan, and Nolan hug each other tight as they grieve. The whole hospital room is full of sorrow. You try to make yourself believe that there is a reason God wanted him home right here, right now.

You feel Spencer's spirit in the room, then feel a rub on your shoulder. You look, but no one is behind you, not even Ethon. It's as if Spencer is acting as your guardian angel.