My Muse

2

Waking up hurt. It hurt a lot when just across from him was something as beautiful as Mark. And yet, as a friend, he wasn't allowed to touch him, or hold him. Or caress him in all the ways he wanted to. Jinyoung's hands were bound by the imaginary rope called the 'friendzone' and wow. It hurt.

He literally felt needles in his heart. It felt like someone was sitting on his chest. He was crushed under the weight of his overbearing feelings that he had to keep hidden in order to keep what he cherished the most. It kind of fucking sucked.

And as much as it hurt, Jinyoung was addicted to the pain. He still invited Mark over to his place. Still asked him to stay the night. Still offered to sleep in the same bed knowing that they had to stay a respective distance apart. Went out on 'dates' that weren't actual dates together, rather just casual nights out with friends. Even showered together a few times, and those were the real painful moments, being so close to what he desired yet unable to cross that invisible boundary. Jinyoung's suffered many lonely nights with his right hand as his closest lover.

It was a bit masochistic of him to continue this cycle. He couldn't help it though. He was addicticed to all that was Mark. And all that was Mark was painful. And despite the pain, he always came back for more. Just to be hurt again. And to be reminded of how he'd never be someone special to Mark.

It was unfair. He hated it. Why he had to fall so deep for someone who didn't share the feelings back, Jinyoung couldn't begin to figure it out. The universe was pitted against him. The odds were never in his favor. Karma, was indeed, a bitch.

And it nearly destroyed him to realize all of this while laying just within a foot of the person he wanted so bad yet couldn't have. Jinyoung could only gaze at the soft skin, long curly eyebrows, plump pink lips, fluffy hair, and perfectly proportioned features that just mocked him in the morning light. Knowing that he couldn't touch, but wanted to so bad.

And those eyes fluttered open, immediately locking with his. Gazing into the deep coffee brown eyes that Mark dared to own, Jinyoung's heart stopped, just admiring the art that was Mark's face.

"Hi."

And in just a few seconds, Jinyoung was wrecked. It really wasn't fair. How easily Mark could tear him to bits without even knowing it. Just wasn't fair. A two-lettered word. That's all it took. A two-lettered word had Jinyoung's heart leaping. And yet, there was nothing he could do about it.

"Morning, sleepy head." Jinyoung responded.

Mark yawned, turning on his back. "I always wake up to you staring at me. Do you just watch me sleep or something?"

Yes. "No. That'd be weird."

"Right." Mark agreed.

Jinyoung's gaze stayed glued on Mark, taking in the breathtaking view. Sharp jaw. Messy bangs. Now moist lips from his tongue running over them. Perfect profile. Jinyoung had intense urges to photograph him in varied positions, but he could only settle for the natural ones that come along.

And this one was perfect.

It wasn't a surprise that Jinyoung frantically searched for his camera, leaning on his elbow once he found it and cutting off circulation throughout his arm to get the right angle. In the end it was all worth it. It's always worth it. Because Jinyoung gets a trinket to keep for himself. A still image of Mark that was his and his only, no one else could see or have it. All his. And if that was the only way he could claim Mark as his own, then he'll take as many pictures as needed until he truly feels satisfied.

Which he most likely never will. Not as long as Mark's beauty continued to exist.

Mark turned his head towards the flash, brows knitted together "Again? I just woke up."

"You look good like that." Jinyoung complimented, snapping another picture.

Mark chuckled, turning his head away just as Jinyoung tried to capture his beautiful smile. He didn't end up getting it. Damn.

"I gotta use the bathroom." Mark reported before getting up out of the bed.

And he was gone.

And Jinyoung was left looking over his new additions to his collection as he heard Mark start up the shower.

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Just so you know...
The pictures at the bottom represent the images Jinyoung takes with his camera
(That were most likely described throughout the chapter)
In case you didn't know,
or were confused about it.

Plz ignore the date at the bottom of the images.
it's not cannon to the story, just there for aesthetic (especially since it's always the same date and time sksksks)