My Muse

8

Jinyoung had made breakfast. He made what Mark liked to eat so that the elder would be greeted with one of his favorite meals when he was done in the bathroom.

Jinyoung was joined by Mark not much later, the two eating quietly across from one another. Jinyoung kept glancing at him. He kept thinking about the kiss. He probably shouldn't be, but seeing Mark lick those delicious lips while eating had Jinyoung's mind betraying him.

He could only wonder if this was the first time Mark had dreamed of kissing him. Mark called it 'weird', which stung a lot. It really did. But Jinyoung's pathetic heart was praying for it to be a good weird, not a bad one.

"So um... Mark?" Jinyoung called, glancing up from his plate across the table at the man he secretly adored.

"Hmm?" Mark hummed, cheeks puffed full of food.

Fucking adorable.

Jinyoung shifted a bit awkwardly in his chair. "Have you... dreamed about me before?"

Mark looked up from his food, quietly staring at Jinyoung for a long moment before shaking his head. "You're still thinking about that? This is why I didn't want to tell you, now you think I'm weird, don't you?"

"No! No not at all, people have dreams like that all the time, often they're-..." Meaningless. But Jinyoung didn't want to say that. Because he didn't want Mark's dream to be meaningless. Especially since it wasn't even a dream. "...um, often they're misinterpreted."

Mark looked back down at his plate, letting out a breath. Jinyoung felt like he was holding his breath in suspense of what Mark's response would be, his hopeful heart beating hard against his rib cage.

"I've had a few others..." Mark finally mumbled out, shy to even admit it.

Jinyoung's heart throbbed. "Dreams? About me?"

Mark nodded, still looking down at his food. "They weren't anything to be concerned about though. Random dreams that mean nothing."

"I see..." Jinyoung mumbled out, the hopes that were quickly built just a moment ago crumbling around him.

Mark leaned forward, resting his head on his elbows on the table. "So now you tell me, have you dreamed about me?"

Jinyoung's mind immediately replayed the wet dreams that he frequently had about Mark that left him felling like a shameful teenage boy still experiencing the hormones of puberty. Those were the types of dreams Jinyoung had about Mark, though he did have his fair share of non-explicit ones that fit in too.

"Um... yes." Jinyoung answered honestly, hoping that his one word response would satisfy Mark enough.

Mark tilted his head to the side, his brows raising in tell-tale curiosity. "What about?"

Jinyoung's eyes darted around the room, his brain working hard to keep his thoughts and dreams as ambiguous as he could. "Just... random things..."

Mark, who was being way too nosy now, continued to poke. "Like?"

Kissing you. Holding you. Loving you. Fucking you-

No, Jinyoung couldn't say that. He couldn't say any of that. He wanted to— boy, did he want to so bad just tell Mark how much he desired him. But Mark already thinks of kissing him as weird. Jinyoung could only imagine what he'd think of anything more than kissing.

"Hey, I didn't ask you for details." Jinyoung stated, honestly wishing for Mark to just drop the topic before he lets something slip that shouldn't.

"Well I told you earlier about the dream I had last night, so I wanna know at least one dream you've had about me." Mark said, giving Jinyoung no good reason to continue to be secretive.

Jinyoung racked his brain for a dream that didn't involve too much intimacy between him and Mark, and it took him a good minute to think of one. But the one he did eventually remember was a fond one, probably one of his nicest, most serene dreams involving the man he was madly in love with.

"We were in a field. Laying in a field together. A field of flowers that had recently bloomed on a nice spring day. And we gazed at the sky. That's it." Jinyoung explained, making it as short as he possibly could though the actual dream lasted way longer, as he also left out the parts where they held hands and kissed in each other's loving arms, resulting in Jinyoung waking up with his heart pounding and desire in his pants. All of that was totally irrelevant, and Mark didn't need to know any of it.

Sure would be nice to tell him sometime though. At least to let him know how much Jinyoung wanted to hold his hand.

At least that much.

Mark just hummed, nodding as he took in a bite of food. "Oh. That's nice. It sounds really nice. We should actually do that sometime."

Jinyoung blinked, his brows furrowing as he though he'd misheard Mark. "Huh?"

Mark shrugged, his eyes dropping to his plate. "Like, a date. Not really a date though but, y'know. Go out and hang together, just you and me. We always are working or are cooped up in your house. We don't really do much. And when we do, it's with other people involved too. Let's plan something. I think the park is a good idea."

Mark really knew how to get Jinyoung's hopes up.

At the mere mention of a 'date' Jinyoung's heart leapt out of his chest, his whipped ass already nodding his head before Mark even got the rest of the sentence out of his head. "Oh... o-okay, sure."

"If you want to that is..." Mark added in a low mumble, almost as if he thought Jinyoung was just agreeing to something he didn't genuinely want to do.

"Yes!" Jinyoung exclaimed way too enthusiastically, resulting in an embarrassing blush that Mark chuckled at. He cleared his throat, adjusting his tone that climbed up to an incredibly high pitch squeal of excitement. "I mean, yeah, I want to. Any day your free I'm free. We should spend more time together, just me and you."

"Cool." Mark agreed, a fucking adorable smile adorning his soft lips. If Jinyoung could freely kiss him right now, Mark would be pinned to a wall with no way to escape his affection. "You should bring your camera too. A day out might give you some good shots."

Of you.

Jinyoung's mind blossomed with the idea of capturing Mark's beauty within a field of flowers, his flawless skin contrasting with the vibrant colors of the petals. A breathtaking view of the pond with Mark's perfect silhouette artistically interrupting the ripples of the water. A shot of Mark's adorableness with his face glowing against the sun, Mother Nature as the backdrop surrounding his beauty with more beauty.

That was a dream in itself. And Jinyoung could only grin as he realized his dream was becoming reality. "Yeah, sure."

And sure, Jinyoung was fully aware that this entire 'date' was only platonic, and that Mark would nearly kill him with the teases of skin ship and closeness that was only meant to be taken as nothing more than friendly.

But a man can dream, can't he?