My Muse

13

Mark had went out.

He had work that day.

And Jinyoung had a photo blog he still needed to update.

Instead of working on that, he moped around all day, feeling bad for himself and wishing Mark were there curled around him like they were in bed earlier.

And now he was slung in a loveseat with his hand in pants, his arm moving up and down as an obscene sight played out in his boxers.

Another day of missing Mark and craving him lead to more imaginative scenarios playing out in Jinyoung's head. One thing led to another and well... now Jinyoung was watching a movie in his mind, where Mark was touching him in all the right places.

Mark always seemed so oblivious of his feelings, from the events of earlier that day, one would think he'd know of Jinyoung's massive crush by now. But then again, friends are often close with one another, enough to hug and cuddle and caress one another's faces, it just depends on the type of friend you have.

That word still irked Jinyoung though.

Friend.

He didn't like it. Not one bit.

Usually it's great to have friends but in this scenario, a friend was the last thing Jinyoung wanted Mark to be.

If Mark were there at the moment, he would definitely see that Jinyoung thinks of him as way more than a friend. Friends don't usually jerk off to the thought of one another.

Jinyoung's hand stuttered in his pants, his breath coming out in shaky huffs and back arched as he ruined his boxers.

"Fu-... Mark..." dripped from his lips, his eyes squeezed shut as his senses ran wild with the memories of Mark's smell, touch, taste— everything.

Bliss washed over him like a calming wave, his entire body relaxing. It only lasted a minute or so before the shame set in.

There was always something humiliating about jerking off that Jinyoung hated, like it was wrong and he'd die if anyone found out he did it. That along with the pitiful view of his flushed face in the mirror across the room as he pouted over the fact that Mark wasn't the one who made him climax and instead his own fist did really made the sight all the more saddening.

And just to make things worse, his phone rang.

Jinyoung hadn't even gotten his hand out of his pants yet. He jolted up and grabbed his phone with his clean hand and a tissue with the dirty one. It was Mark calling. Of course he picked up immediately.

"Hey, Mark?" Jinyoung answered as casually as possible, though he was sure he sounded pretty much a mess over the phone.

"Hey Jinyoung. Just wanna let you know that I'm gonna go home today. Ive left my apartment unattended for too long, my neighbor might think I've been kidnapped." Mark chuckled.

Jinyoung's heart sank further than it already had. First he was super friend-zoned, then he pleasured himself to just the mere image of Mark in his head, and now Mark won't even be coming back to him later on. He cursed living apart, he liked having Mark around too much to remember that the elder had his own separate home to tend to.

Jinyoung couldn't express those feelings through the phone though, so of course he shielded them away and put on his usual complacent facade. "Oh... um... alright then. See you sometime then."

"Yeah I will definitely be back soon. Take care of yourself! See you!" Mark chirped before abruptly hanging up.

Jinyoung leaned back in his chair.

He was sad.

He felt pathetic.

He was uncomfortable due to the drying jizz in his pants.

But worst of all, he was alone, which is what hurt the most.