My Muse

15

Jinyoung had accumulated quite a few missed calls and unanswered texts over the next few days.

A good majority of them were from Mark, who he couldn't bare to talk to. He was sure he'd break down into tears as soon as he'd try to answer or reply.

Instead he spent time staring at the ceiling of his flat, wondering where he went wrong.

Well, he didn't have to wonder. He knew exactly where he went wrong. When he fell for Mark in the first place.

And he hated himself for loving Mark so deeply that the reality of Mark being with someone else hit him like a bullet to a necessary artery.

He felt like literal shit. Unable to pull himself out of his bed for days.

The only time he dragged himself out of his covers were to appease his boss who was harassing him with calls, texts, and emails for a new post. Jinyoung was already two days late. He didn't care all that much.

Luckily it rained, the droplets covering his window as a backdrop to a wilting plant on his windowsill being the perfect image describing his current mood.

He wrote up a few paragraphs on the awful tightness of his chest and physical pain of his own thoughts, uploaded the photo, and sent his post. Work was finally taken care of.

Now he could feel sorry for himself without the impending deadline (that had already passed anyway) drilling through his thoughts.

It became routine to think of Mark. Then shuffle over to his laptop and open that folder full of pictures of the love of his life, smiling happily, staring off into space, doing mundane tasks. And then he'd cry. His tears would flow for maybe an hour, half an hour if he were lucky.

Then he'd just feel nothingness.

Empty and lost.

Mark wasn't there with him through such a tough time. And he was the cause of it in the first place.

Of course he wasn't there though.

He was with Jaebum.

Of course.

Jinyoung became so out of touch with the outside world in just a few days that he'd forgotten what the sound of knocking was like. He heard the light wrap of knuckles against his front door quite a few times, and only registered that someone was at his front door when the light taps turned into hard banging.

He was startled by the sudden change of force and quickly walked over to answer it.

Jinyoung looked through the peephole. Despite his sadness, his heart throbbed.

Mark.

Why was he here?

Honestly Jinyoung should hate Mark right now. Though Mark didn't really do anything wrong, Jinyoung's heart was broken because of him. He should really hate Mark.

But he loved Mark. And he couldn't leave his love standing outside of the door with a worried look on his perfect face.

Jinyoung opened it.

Mark's head whipped to face the other, he marched through the door. He was angry. "Jinyoung. What the fuck?"

Jinyoung spun around, his eyes following the fuming man that made his way into the apartment. He didn't even know what Mark was so upset about. "I'm sorry?"

Mark pointed his finger at Jinyoung, his brows knitted together in a scowl. "You fucking ghosted me for the past few days. I called and texted and called and texted and called and texted. No fucking answer."