Heart of Ashes

Melodies in the Park

The scent of the soft breeze slipping through the trees filled the air as we walked through the gently lit park late that evening. A spotlight sent its beam of light up into the darkened sky, telling everyone where the band would be playing. As if it wasn't already obvious by the crowd of people already gathering in front of the stage that had already been set up hours beforehand, a constant flow of more trickling in from the surrounding city.

I should have known the concert wouldn't be starting until well after sunset. At least I didn't have to worry about going to work in the morning, one of the few blessings of not having a current job. If only I didn't have to worry about things like rent, food, bills, and other such monetary issues that a job helped to pay for.

Of course, even if I didn't have those to worry about, I would still want to work. I loved making clothing far too much not to want to work in the field somehow. Sometimes it felt like if I wasn't creating something new, that I wasn't really here... Like I wasn't really alive.

But right now, walking beside Rae after they had talked me into wearing one of the only dresses I had ever made for myself, I felt more alive than I had in months. Every time someone's eyes would roam over the clothing we both wore, clothing that I had made, I felt the smile on my face grow bigger. Every compliment spoken of the cut or the material used, be it directly to us or to someone near the person as we walked past them, told me I was truly doing what I was meant to do. And it was all the better that it was something I loved doing.

And the night had only barely begun.

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I watched in awe as the band finished the first song, finally beginning to understand why Rae was always raving about them. It might only be three people on stage, but they had so much presence, I'm not sure there would be room for anyone else up there beside them. Not unless they somehow found someone who could hold their own on stage without being drowned out by the almost overwhelming aura each member of the band seemed to give off.

The lead singer, Jinx if I heard Rae correctly, had dyed his hair a deep blue with streaks of aquamarine clearly seen within his long hair as he seemed to almost dance across the stage. There were a few times I almost thought his fingers would tangle in the strands as he played his bass, but it never happened, the smallest turn of his head seeming to pull the hair out of the way moments before his fingers shifted over the strings along the neck and altered the sounds he was creating.

Even as little as I knew about music, I could tell he and his bandmates were very skilled with the music they played. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a little more time enjoying music while I was doing things like sewing or cooking, as long as I didn't get too distracted by it...

Of course, my favorite moment was when they happened to do a cover of my favorite band, joining in with Rae as they shouted approval for the choice. The quick grin Rae gave me showed that they were aware of the reason I was finally showing real excitement instead of just appreciation of a good band. Okay, a really good band. The bass player even joined in with the lead singer to make the lyrics seem even more haunting than usual.

"Told you I would teach you what real music was," Rae said with a teasing grin on their lips.

With a grin and a small push against them with my shoulder, I laughed and looked up at Rae before responding.

"Yeah, that you did! Thanks for teaching me, sensei," I spoke past the laughter, my eyes almost closed from the grin that just wouldn't go away. Luckily, they were open just enough to catch the momentary shock that flashed upon their face before being hidden behind a grin, a soft blush barely visible on Rae's dark skin even with the help of the nearby stage lights.

I would have to make sure to get the band to sign something to give Rae as thanks for bringing me along. I was really having a great time and just listening to the music was making my creativity flow in ways I hadn't expected!

~~~~~~~~

He could still feel the memories shifting about in his mind, no matter how faint they were at this point. He would have to be careful in the future to make sure they took those breaks the female had offered, unwilling to have the past overwhelm him like that again.

It didn't matter that the warmth had been so inviting. Ashe had chosen his solitude from such feelings for a reason and he would not submit to them just to have them stolen away yet again, snatched from his grasp as if to punish him for daring to get close to yet another human. No, he'd lasted this long without such things and had gone even longer before he'd felt them for the first time. He'd survived the death and rebirth of the universe already without feeling warmth, he could make it through another cycle without feeling it again. And another after that, over and over again.

It was just a bit harder, having felt it for himself before, rather than simply hearing deities talk about the warmth of companionship. It was somewhat like staring through a window into a home with snow falling about you. You wouldn't mind the snow so much if you hadn't been inside before and gotten used to the warmth before having to go outside again. If you had stayed outside, you would still be numb to the cold, but having gone inside, you could now feel the frost biting at your toes and fingers. And unlike before, now there was pain.

Because of the warmth humans had once brought him, he now felt the numbing cold he'd only really noticed after it was no longer chased away. Before, it had just been the way of things. Now, now he could feel it, much like a human did as their body slowly grew numb to the feelings they once enjoyed. Only, he would have no escape in death.

He would never have an escape from the cold. Not one worth seeking because humans were fleeting things. And it was too painful to have that warmth ripped from him yet again. Instead, he would deny it just as he always had when he felt it trying to brush against him. Yes, he just had to steel himself and refuse to allow the warmth to affect him.

He was Death. He would not submit to this... human. No matter how warm she felt.