Falling to Pieces(Kit and Ty)

Chapter 1

     Kit Herondale felt his legs go out from under him. He crashed to the ground, his breath rattling. Jem Carstairs was an amazing fighter, and Kit still had so much to learn. He had barely any experience in fighting, since his father had attempted to protect him from the Shadowhunters. All Kit knew were a few magic tricks, but he couldn't defeat a demon by doing the 'pick a card trick'. That would go very badly for Kit.
     He quickly swept his golden hair out of his eyes, sweat dripping down his face. It had been weeks since Kit had asked Jem to train him. He still wasn't improving much. Kit picked himself up off the ground, raising his staff. Jem smiled an encouraging smile.
     "You're doing very well, Kit," he said.
     Kit wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead. They had been training for over an hour. He was exhausted, but Jem didn't seem even the least bit tired. "If I was doing well, I would've beaten you by now," he huffed. Kit charged half-heartedly at Jem, slashing with his staff. Jem blocked his blow, then retreated a few steps, causing Kit to fall forward. He caught himself before he hit the ground. There was no possible way for Kit to beat Jem. Jem had years of experience that Kit didn't have.
     "Think of those you love," Jem said, gently, his voice like a song. "They'll guide you."
     How could Kit think of those he loved, if he loved no one. He had never known his mother. He and his father had had an iffy relationship. He was still getting to know Jem and Tessa. He couldn't say he loved them yet. He had never been around anyone long enough to love them. He was with the Blackthorns for a short amount of time. Livvy was killed by the Mortal Sword before they really got to know each other. He had left the Blackthorns to live in Jem and Tessa's home in Devon. The Blackthorns were always kind, but Kit knew he was just another burden for Julian. Julian had to take care of his family starting at the age of twelve. He had enough on his plate, but then Kit had come, and Julian accepted him without question. He never got to really know the Blackthorns. If he had had more time, they could've become some of his best friends. The only person he really got to know, was his father. His father never showed signs of loving Kit. His father was never around enough to do the typical dad things. He wasn't around to watch TV with Kit. He wasn't around to make weird dad jokes. Then, he wasn't around at all. He was ripped apart by Mantid demons.
     "Keep them right here," Jem said, putting a hand by his heart.
     Kit didn't want to think about who he loved. He didn't even want to remember them.
Wouldn't it have been nice if I had demon amnesia like Simon? he thought. I wouldn't remember them, him. I wouldn't have to remember any of it.
     Kit's heart was filled with various emotions. It was kind of annoying. One moment, he would be happy, enjoying his new life with Jem and Tessa. Another, he'd be locked in his room, sobbing. The changes in emotion were so sudden. Kit didn't know what he really felt about his situation. All he knew was that his heart was wounded, and that it may never heal. Kit was falling to pieces, and he didn't know what to do to stop it.
     Kit came up with a different idea. He would think of the people he used to love. He would think of those who hurt him. He would use that anger to beat Jem. It wasn't exactly what Jem had been getting at, but it would work. He thought of his mother leaving him. She had done it to protect him. He knew that now, but he hadn't known that before. His father had never told him why she left. Kit always thought his mother left because there was something wrong with him. He had been right, in a way. He was a descendant of the First Heir, whatever that meant. He thought of the love he never got from his father. He thought of Livvy dying, too young.
     He thought of a grey-eyed boy who saw the world differently than everyone else. He remembered that boy trying to raise his sister from the dead. Kit had been foolish enough to help him. Kit couldn't even explain why. All he had known was that he couldn't upset Ty. He had almost went through with the plan, but Shade, a warlock had told Kit to stop Ty. It was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He could see how desperate Ty was to bring back his sister. Kit had tried to convince Ty that he would be okay without Livvy. He tried to explain what would happen if he raised her from the dead. What happened next hurt him too much to think about. This would all help him fight. If he could beat Jem, or at least get close to it, remembering Ty would be worth it.
     He thought back to when he had told Ty he loved him. "I love you, Ty. I love you," he had said. Ty had just stared at him in shock, not even responding. Then, he raised his sister from the dead. It didn't go as planned. The power source wasn't strong enough, so it brought Livvy back as a ghost, instead of bringing her fully back to life. Kit had never been more hurt or embarrassed. Ty obviously hadn't felt  the same way. Magnus had chained them to a tree to prevent them from fighting. Ty figured out that Kit was mad at him. He had told Kit that he was just like everyone else. Ty had thought that Kit hadn't really cared for him. Ty thought he'd never cared. He had just told Ty how he felt, and treated it like it meant nothing. Kit had told Ty he wished he had never met him. Ty had begun to cry. He felt bad after that. He had hurt Ty. Livvy's ghost freed them, and they went to the battle. Kit had been fighting the Riders of Mannan when his powers kicked in. He felt like he was dying after that. He hadn't died, but he had passed out. Jem and Tessa offered him a new home and he had accepted. Kit couldn't face Ty after what happened, so he left with Jem and Tessa without saying goodbye.
     Kit had known no one would ever love him. He was unable to be loved. Ty proved his theory. He meant nothing to anyone. No one would ever love him. He was alone, and unloved.
Kit took all of that pain and turned it into anger. He attacked Jem, swinging his staff, without any rhythm. Jem blocked all of his blows calmly, as if it took barely any effort. Kit kept attacking. The only thing he was thinking about was Ty. Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty. Jem held Kit in place by the shoulders. Kit struggled against his grip, barely realizing what was going on.
"Kit," Jem said, urgently.
That brought him back to reality. Kit was a mess. Hot tears were running down his face. He was sobbing.
"Kit, it's alright." Jem held him in a warm embrace. Kit almost pulled away out of instinct, but he realized that it was just Jem. He knew that Jem only wanted to help him.
Kit rested his head on Jem's shoulders, his whole body shaking. He let out a sad noise, very much like a whimper.
"Everybody says it'll be okay, but I doubt this is where the pain ends."
Jem nodded in agreement. "The pain may not end yet, but there will always be happy moments to cherish along the way." He paused, considering. "I remember when I was young. My parents were tortured and killed by a demon. I was also tortured, but not killed. The venom from the demon would eventually kill me. The only way for me to elongate my life was to take a drug called yin fen. That drug would slowly kill me. Either way, I would die. I went to the London Institute and met my Parabatai, Will. Years later, Tessa came to London. I cherished every moment with them and my new family at the London Institute. There were painful moments, but scattered in those painful moments, were joyful ones. If you choose to ignore them, you will only see the pain in your life. You've been through so much, and you're still so young. You may want to focus only on the painful moments, but I suggest that you remember both the painful and the joyful moments in your life. They make you who you are. So, no, this is not where the pain will end, but there are many happy moments to come."
     Kit knew Jem was wise, but he hadn't known he was that wise. Kit hadn't thought much about what he enjoyed in his life. Recently, he had only been thinking about all of the pain he's gone through. He hadn't thought about how much fun he had with Livvy and Ty spying on guests. He hadn't thought about how much he enjoyed his time with the Blackthorns. He only thought about how they had hurt him. That caused him to feel anger towards them. They didn't deserve that. The Blackthorns had only showed him kindness.
     "Thanks for the advice," Kit said, awkwardly. He pulled out of the embrace, wiping away any leftover tears.
     Jem smiled. "It was nothing. Now, I believe Tessa has prepared lunch for us."
     The way Jem said Tessa's name was beautiful. Whenever he mentioned Tessa, his voice softened. Anyone could guess that he loved Tessa more than anything. He spoke the same way when he mentions their child, Mina. Jem's heart was so full of love. He never let the pain in his life get to him. Kit wanted to be like Jem in that way. He wanted to remember the painful things in his life, but he wouldn't let them destroy him.
     Kit and Jem returned to their home, Tessa and Mina waiting for them. Mina was in her high chair, banging against the table part of it with her tiny fists. She was smiling, but she wouldn't be for long, unless someone gave her food, quick. Tessa looked at her baby, love in her eyes.
     "I'll get you some food, alright, little Mina?" she said with a smile.
     Mina giggled. Mina had been making a lot of noises lately. She liked to cry a lot, but she also liked to make other noises. Kit thought it was Mina's way of speaking, since Mina couldn't talk yet. He was surprisingly good at interpreting what Mina was trying to say. He had saved Jem and Tessa multiple times from a very angry baby.
Tessa took some applesauce from a cabinet and fed it to Mina in little spoonfuls. Jem greeted Tessa with a kiss on the cheek. She smiled.
"How was training?" she inquired.
Jem quirked an eyebrow, smiling. Kit grimaced at the reminder of training earlier.
"Kit is learning quickly," he said.
"I see," said Tessa, knowing he left out some important details that he would tell her later.
While Tessa was distracted, Mina grabbed the spoon out of her hand. She giggled as she flung the spoon across the room. The spoon landed on the ground with a clatter, spilling applesauce everywhere. Everyone burst out laughing.
"Silly Mina," Tessa said, adoringly.
She wiped up the applesauce with a paper towel, and put the spoon in the sink. Jem lifted Mina out of her high chair and carried her to her room. He came back moments later without Mina.
"She's taking a nap," he said to Tessa.
Tessa smiled, and led Jem to the table. Kit took his usual seat next to Jem. Tessa brought the meal to the table. It was mac and cheese. She placed a bowl in front of Jem, and then Kit. She took her seat on Jem's right. Everyone started eating. Kit was starving. He had eaten a large breakfast, but training had made him hungry again. Tessa always made a big breakfast. She told Kit that he would need the energy for training. Kit shoveled down the mac and cheese, almost forgetting to swallow. Jem chuckled.
"You must be hungry," he said, smiling.
Kit nodded, still shoveling food into his mouth. He knew that Jem was trying to break the silence, but Kit was too hungry to have a conversation.
"I was thinking," Tessa began, "that we could watch a movie tonight."
"What movie?" he asked, suspiciously.
One time, Tessa had tricked him into watching a boring tragedy. It was an adaptation of one of her favorite books. It was pretty good, but the girl should've ended up with the other guy. Kit couldn't explain why he felt that way. Both guys seemed like good people, but he thought the girl should've ended up with the other guy.
"I was thinking you could choose," she replied.
Kit rubbed his hands together like one of those evil villains, smiling mischievously. "We are going to watch an emotionally damaging movie called 'The Avengers.'"
"I've heard of that one!" Jem exclaimed.
"It'll completely destroy your souls."
Kit loved The Avengers. He had watched it pretty recently. He was still locked up in his room, refusing to speak to Jem or Tessa. He had found a TV and decided to pop in a few CDs. He watched all of the Marvel movies that were out at the time, some of those including Thor, Iron Man, and the Avengers. They took his mind off of everything. He no longer had to think about how his world had been turned upside down in a short amount of time.
     Jem and Tessa laughed. Tessa had read many soul destroying books throughout her life. She was prepared. Kit finished his mac and cheese, and stood, pushing back his chair.
     "I'm going to hang out in my room until you're ready to watch the movie," he said. "It has to be dark outside when we watch it!"
     Jem gave him a puzzled look.
     "Otherwise, you won't get the full movie effect," he explained.
     Jem nodded as Kit put his dish in the sink and rinsed it out. Kit left Jem and Tessa, and returned to his room. He closed the door behind him, but did not lock it. Jem and Tessa were welcome whenever they wanted to come in. He didn't want them to think he hated them. He did not. He was actually starting to like them. They were some of the kindest people he had ever met.
     Kit picked up his phone, and started playing on it. He had nothing else to do. He wasn't really into books, no matter how much Tessa tried to convince him to read one. He thought they were boring and stupid. Nothing that happened in books actually happened, unless you were reading a nonfiction book. Those were just plain boring. Jem and Tessa had bought him the most recent phone as a welcoming gift. It was pretty cool.
     Jem and Tessa were always so nice to him, and he wasn't even their child. Mina was. They treated him like he was their own child, like they were his parents. They accepted him for who he was. They helped him whenever he needed it. They treated him like they loved him. Kit had never felt like this before. He felt like he had a home.
     Tessa came to check on him after a while, telling him it was movie time, unless he didn't want to watch one.
     "Of course I want to watch one!" he said, excitedly.
     Tessa smiled and led him into a room with a TV and couches. The TV was in the front of the room. There were three couches, one in the middle, and one on each side of the middle couch. In front of the couches, was a small table. On that table was a big bowl of popcorn, and more bowls filled with different types of candy. Kit's mouth watered. This was perfect.
     He took a seat on the middle couch, laying on his side. Jem and Tessa sat on the couch to his right with Mina after setting up the movie. They had some difficulty with that, but with help from Kit, they figured it out. They sat in silence once the movie started. Kit grabbed a handful of popcorn, and stuffed it in his mouth. They hadn't forgotten to put butter on it! He loved his new life.
     Kit was the only one who cheered when Loki arrived at S.H.I.E.L.D. He had watched the first Thor movie, and had grown to love Loki. He was just misunderstood. Jem and Tessa gasped when he killed the agents in the room to steal the Tesseract. Kit was just smiling.
     Kit ended up holding the bowl of popcorn, and a bowl of Swedish fish. He was shoveling popcorn and candy into his mouth. Jem and Tessa shared a bowl of M&M's. Kit could hear someone sniffling when Coulson died. He wasn't sure who, though.
     He laughed along with Jem and Tessa at the funny parts. He was enjoying this. He felt like he had a family. Mina giggled along with everyone else. She wasn't old enough to understand what was going on in the movie, but she still laughed along with everyone else.
Kit switched positions on the couch many times throughout the movie. Resting on one side wasn't comfortable for long. He would roll around a lot to find the perfect position. Kit, Jem, and Tessa clapped when the movie was over. Kit wondered if Tessa and Jem actually enjoyed it or if they were just trying to make him feel good.
"I really enjoyed that movie, Kit," Jem said, gently.
"I also enjoyed it," Tessa said. "I just want to know more about Loki's motives. They make him seem like a bad guy, but I can tell he has a backstory."
"He definitely has one," Kit laughed. "The Thor movie explains everything about Loki."
Tessa nodded. "I just feel really bad for him. I feel like he's misunderstood."
"Definitely," Jem agreed.
It was already pretty late, and Kit was exhausted. He quickly said goodnight to Tessa, Jem, and Mina before heading to his room for the night. He shut the door, and jumped onto his bed. He got under the covers, quickly set his alarm, and closed his eyes. Tomorrow would be another great day.