moving up

Chapter 11

Momo is afraid that her productivity is going to start slipping if she doesn't get ahold of herself. She knows that she was very lucky she was able to stay focused, helping Shoto building shelves, but she spent the rest of her shift in a weird sort of daze, and she knows that she didn't work as quickly as she could have, as a result.

When she worked with him, she spoke too familiar with him, which definitely isn't like her at all. She's usually able to keep her distance from people like that, but she ended up practically gushing about how amazing she finds him. After the fact, she wanted to die of embarrassment.

This is going too far, and she knows it. She's supposed to be here to do a job, and that's it. Anything that gets in the way of that is a problem, so her being so infatuated, and with her own manager , at that, that she can barely focus on work is definitely a very big problem. She should have gotten over this by now, and she doesn't know what she's going to do to fix it now.

If only she could make it so that she didn't work any shifts with Shoto, but if she requested that, she would have to have some sort of explanation, and there aren't even any lies that don't seem completely unprofessional. There's no good excuse for an employee to not be able to work with a certain manager, unless that manager is the problem, and there's no way she's going to lie about Shoto and get him in trouble, just because she can't keep her own feelings under control. Her only option is to learn how to control them, and so that she can stop worrying about it all the time.

Of course, after all this time, she knows that that's easier said than done. And so, she decides to talk to someone that she knows she can trust about this, someone who already knows everything anyway, so it's not like she can embarrass herself further. She waits for a day when she and Kyoka work together, and asks if they can take their breaks at the same time, and talk.

Kyoka already knows what she wants to talk about and says, "Did something happen between you and Shoto?"

"No, no! Well, not between us, it's just..." Momo gives her the gist of it, finishing by explaining that she needs to get back on track, and not feel so distracted all the time.

"Well, I don't really think you have as much to worry about as you think," Kyoka says with a sigh. "You're probably the only one who thinks your productivity has gone down. I mean, no one's complained about you, have they?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Listen, things really aren't that bad," she goes on. "It's not like you're the first person to like someone you work with. You just can't let it get to you."

"Is that how it was with...um...?"

"With Denki? Yeah, I guess. I mean, neither of us made it obvious or anything."

"Sorry if you didn't want me to ask about that. I know you don't really talk about it, so..."

"Please, it's no big deal. It's all in the past now anyway," she says. "We had something and now we don't, and that's all there is to it. I don't think either of us were ever that serious anyway, so it's not like it really hurt or anything."

"I see," Momo replies with a nod. "That's good, then."

"The point is, I really don't think it's that big of a deal to like someone you work with."

"I suppose, but he's-"

"Trust me, I've heard it all before. You know, I'm technically a supervisor, and that didn't stop Denki from putting the moves on me," says Kyoka. "Come to think of it, it isn't stopping him with Eijiro either?"

"Eijiro?"

"You know, the front end supervisor."

"No, I know who he is, it's just..."

"Oh, you're surprised about them? I kind of was at first, but not anymore. I mean, Denki told me he went both ways, and I always kinda figured Eijiro was into guys too, and they're pretty close so..." She shrugs. "I just wonder if it's any different, or if it's all the same. I wonder if it's just gonna be another disaster, or if Denki is actually serious this time."

Momo wonders if Kyoka was more hurt by whatever ended their relationship than she lets on, but she doesn't think that it's her place to ask, and so she doesn't. Instead, she just nods, like she understands perfectly. She doesn't have much more to say on her own situation, because Kyoka has already said so much that she would feel bad to still complain about it.

"Toru knows about it now too," Momo finally says, not quite dropping the subject, but also not complaining as much. "You, her, and Koji...I wonder if it's obvious to everyone else."

"I already said you don't have anything to worry about with Koji. If there's anyone in this store I trust, it's him," Kyoka says. "He's always been reliable, ever since he started here. I'd probably trust him with anything."

"Are you two close?"

"I don't know about that. I mean, we don't talk outside of work or anything, but he doesn't really talk much anyway," she says, kind of softly, and Momo wonders if there might be more to this. "But I guess I wouldn't mind if we did."

She doesn't know where the idea comes from, but Momo wonders if Kyoka likes him. It's not like she knows much on the subject, since Shoto is her first real crush, but something about the way Kyoka talks about Koji, the way she gets softer and a little distant, makes her think that there might be more to it. He's very different from Denki, but that probably makes sense, if things went badly.

"He seems very nice," she says awkwardly, hoping that this is vague enough that, if Kyoka isn't interested in him, she won't take it weirdly, but, if she is, it will serve as an encouragement.

"Yeah, he is. Not a lot of people like him out there." Well, that doesn't give Momo any answers, but it's really none of her business either way. Their breaks are over now anyway, so she can't pry any further, and she doesn't have any further chance to ask about Shoto.

She's talked about Shoto too much anyway, and even though she still has no idea what to do, she's afraid that it's going to get annoying if she keeps asking questions. She's on her own now, and she's really been on her own from the beginning, but she's still just as lost on how she's going to get over this and get back to working seriously.

"Let's get back out there," Kyoka says, standing up, and Momo joins her. "You've really got nothing to worry about, you know?"

Momo really wishes she could believe her.