moving up

Chapter 15

It's been kind of obvious from the beginning that Izuku had some sort of a history with Katsuki, possibly even a thing for him. Ochako knew this, but she also knew that she and her new coworker were getting pretty close, pretty fast, so she decided not to worry about it. Whatever happened happened, right?

Now a lot of things have happened, but she's not really sure what's going on. She knows more about Izuku, and about his feelings for both her and Katsuki, but she doesn't feel like she actually has that many answers. At least, she doesn't know if Izuku is really as satisfied as he claims. She knows that there's no use in wondering if his feelings for Katsuki are still strong, or if he'd prefer to be with the other man, but she can't help it.

When she said she didn't have anything against them for having feelings for both of them, she meant it, and she meant it when she said he could have time to think about it. He didn't want that time, and she respects his decision, but she isn't sure if she'll ever be able to shake her doubt, and stop wondering if he wouldn't be happier otherwise.

She tries to tell herself that it's stupid to worry about something that she can't control, and that she can't know on her own, but she keeps wondering if there would be some way for things to work out without anyone being unhappy. And, of course, she has no proof that Izuku would be unhappy with the way things are going now, but she still overthinks. Maybe he's rubbing off on her in that way.

The best thing she can do, she knows, is to go along with things as long as she is happy doing so. If she really has doubts, she can back out, and if Izuku really wants to be with Katsuki, and really has the chance to do so, he can back out. That's all there is to it, so why can't she stop worrying about it? And why doesn't she want out even though she isn't sure about things?

More than anything, she just wishes that there was a way for everything to work out, for both of them.

~X~

"Thanks again," Kyoka says with a smile, getting into the passenger side of Koji's car. Earlier that day, she was given a ride to work by someone else, but they had to leave earlier, and she asked Koji if he wouldn't mind giving her a ride home. He's willing, of course, because it isn't too out of the way and she's a good friend.

And there are other matters, but he tries not to actually think about any of that when he's with her. When he gets home, there'll be no way to avoid it, but for now, he tries not think about it.

Koji nods, not saying much because he never does, and she gives him directions to her neighborhood while she drives, in between talking about things with work. Kyoka's always been good at filling the silence when they work together, and she's never minded that he doesn't often have much to say. They're good together like that, but that's thinking too much about it.

Koji likes her, and he has for a while now. He isn't sure when, exactly, it started, but it's been going on for a while now, and he's never been sure what to do about it. There's the fact that they're coworkers, so that might not be a good idea in the first place, and there's the fact that she used to be involved with another coworker, and that didn't go well for her. He doesn't know all the details on that, but he isn't sure if anyone does, and either way, he wouldn't want to try to push for something like that if it was really that bad of an experience for her.

But it's difficult sometimes, working with her and knowing how he feels and knowing that isn't able to do anything about it. He's liked a few people over the years, but he's never made a move before, and even if he felt able to, he wouldn't know how. It would be nice to have a girlfriend, since he never has, and even better if it were someone like Kyoka, but what can he do?

She talks to him so easily, not minding that he doesn't have much to say in return. If they were together, she'd understand him, and she wouldn't be bothered by how soft spoken he is. He tries not to fantasize about things like this, but it's hard.

All too soon, he has Kyoka at her house, and he says goodbye to her, the only thing he's said in the car.

~X~

Shoto's starting to understand things a little better, though he's not sure if that's a good thing or not. He thinks it might have been better when he was completely clueless, and had his own reasons for why he enjoyed working with Momo so much. But now he's starting to understand things, and starting to realize that things are not the way he thought they were.

Acquaintances through the years have made him aware of the fact that there are people who find him attractive. He's been told that he's rather popular through the years, but he never noticed on his own, and he never took enough interest in seeing where that would get him. His friends were hardly even his friends, and he never had anything even close to a relationship; he's never had anyone that he would consider pursuing a relationship with.

So now that he's starting to understand his feelings, it makes sense that it took him some time to figure out what was going on, but it might have been better to remain oblivious. He's her manager, and he's working to help her get promoted; being attracted to her is definitely not appropriate. Now that he knows that that's what it is, everything becomes more clear, but it doesn't really help matters much.

It doesn't help anything because he still doesn't know what he should do. He doesn't think that he's been helping her out of some kind of bias; he really does believe she's a good employee, and enough people agree with him that it can't just be a bias, but it's still feels like a bad position to be in. It would be better if he had been able to remain oblivious, but now that he isn't, he can't help but worry.

He's never had a relationship or worried about having one before, but now, for the first time, he wonders if this is different. He wonders if it's fair to just say he's attracted to Momo, when he knows that it's something more than just a physical attraction, though he knows that she is considered very beautiful. What drew him to her was her devotion to her work, after all.

Now that he's starting to understand what's really going on, he wishes that he'd stayed clueless, because this gives him too much to think about, and it seems impossible to come to any sort of conclusion.