When? || Lee Felix X Reader ¦¦

(-,(-,-)13(-,-),-)

⚠Possible trigger warning⚠
~Ash P.O.V~

Number added in contacts as
'bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦'

Message now?

[Yes] [No]

[Yes] [No]

xxxxxxx:
Hi Chan it's me Ash

bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦:
Hello!
So what was your question again?

xxxxxxx:
How do you write songs?
Like what do you start with?

bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦:
Oh yeah
Well I always think of a theme first
Then listen to songs with the same theme

xxxxxxx:
Yeah I already did that

bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦:
What is your theme?

xxxxxxx:
Wait-
Is depression a theme?

bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦:
Yes it is

~Chan P.O.V~

xxxxxxx:
Is depression a theme?

I looked at her last message and sighed. That sounded pretty sad... I went to my contacts and changed her name.

Do you want to change this contact to 'BabyGirlMustProtecc🥺'?

[Yes] [No]

[Yes] [No]

I was happy with the name I made up. Since she is a STAY and that makes her my- yeah I don't have to explain myself. I grabbed myself some food since I was hungry like always. I went back to my dorm room wich I shared with Felix and Changbin. Yes I changed with Hyunjin since he wanted to be with Jeongin and Seungmin. Felix and Changbin came in at the same time. As soon as Felix saw me he sat down next to me.

"Did she respond to you yet?" "Dude.. I have to respond to her." I lied cause otherwise he'll ask further, like 'What did you ask?' 'Did you ask her to come here?' 'How did you start the convo?' 'Tell her I said hi!' Felix rolled his eyes and went to his bed, as Changbin layed down next to Felix.

~Ash P.O.V~

It was already break time so I was laying outside on a bench, resting my head on Chiara's lap. She was busy on her phone as she patted my head. We really have the weirdest relationship ever. I looked around as far as I could see, a lot of people are looking at us, like they never saw two best friends being clingy. I huffed and placed my attention to my phone. I'll ask Chan what to do next so I can go on in the next lesson.

BabyGirlMustProtecc🥺:
Then what do I do now?

bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦:
You can think of words that fit in a depressing song
And then make sentances

BabyGirlMustProtecc🥺:
Thanks for helping Channie!
You can block and delete my number if you want

bRoCcOlLi ChAn🥦:
Nah cause then you can ask me something if you need help!

BabyGirlMustProtecc🥺:
Thx
I'll be going now
Bye bye!!
Seen

I guess he isn't much of a typer.. I put away my phone and push myself away from Chiara. "Come on. It's time to go to class hoe." I poked her thigh, and she looked up from her phone. "But I didn't hear the bell ring?" At that exact moment the bell rung. "Me neither!" I said sarcastically. "Ugh let's just go jokester-" She got up and went to class, I followed her since I as always didn't know where we had class and what class it was.

~Time skip, me is lazy~

We finally, I repeat finally finished school. Chiara quickly brought me home as she was in a hurry herself for something. Oh wait I remember... She's gonna walk Rover together with the.. How was he called... Hmm.. Bin? Flin? Meh I don't care I'll just call him Changbin guy... She'll have to send me pics later. I went inside and directly went upstairs without saying hi to my parents, I locked the door and settled down behind my keyboard. I played some notes just for fun, then grabbed my music book that was full of notes. The only class i take notes..

I threw it on my bed and then jumped on it myself. I thought of words that were about depressing stuff. I wrote down: Murder, suicide, knife, pain, bullies, songs, life, lyrics, depression, death, drowning, cuts, stabs, abuse, love, heartbroken, lonely, dark, silent, disowned, hurt, scars, liveless, cold
I looked at all the words and wrote some lyrics.

Even without you I can feel the pain you left
I know I can't live without you
But I can't also live with it
You left me hanging, giving a rope
You left me speechless leaving me alone
I just went silent even with you
Never hoping this would come too

I wish I did let it go
But even around you I took the knife
And I just stabbed my dreams away
I wish I never found out about you
Now that I have the scars you wanted me to have
You can leave me in peace and let me be
Just let me be
Be alone
Till I cant take it no more

I looked at the lyrics and sighed, I didn't know where they came from but my hands just worked fully on it's own. It was a bit too short but I'll change it later. I felt my stomach growled and I went downstairs to grab some food, my parents weren't downstairs so they probably left again. They don't even know I exist until they need me.. I sighed at the thought and cooked myself some dinner.
I took it with me upstairs and went back to writing lyrics.

Now I'm not hurt anymore
And living in peace
I just took the rope you left me speechless with
And this note, the note I wrote for you
To let you know that you can't make me suffer no more
If you'll ever miss me, you'll know how I felt

Cause this will not end
No it will never end
Cause you'll always be hearing these sounds
Those sounds I made
My laughs, my sobs, and my singing
You'll never hear it again

Just knock it off, and live without
Take it out
Out of your mind
And never ever dream of me
Never ever dream of me

I thought of reasons why I would write this, or for who I would've write this. Maybe for my mother or father. Maybe for the one's that hurt me. Maybe for the one's that will hurt me in the future.

(A/N note)

I'm so so so sorry for this sad chapter
I didn't really know of something, so I just wrote some lyrics I thought of
But I didn't know I could make this much

-edited