Trigger warning(s): Nightmares and anxiety
Gender-Neutral
SPOILERS FOR JULIANS REVERSE ENDING
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I feel the cold,wet sand go against my feet. The waves crash and fall right before me as I gaze upon the beautiful sun set. I feel comforted by the beach air, the sound of the waves and wind, and the beautiful lighting from the setting sun. Almost as soon as I feel comforted something seems off, twisted in a way. I freeze up when I realize this, and before my eyes the world shifts, the gentle crashing of the waves is now over powering to my senses and I look at the ocean as it turns into a dark shade of red. My breathing gets hurried and I back away from the water and try to go further onto the beach. As I scurry backwards I look down long enough to notice the sand is wrong now too. It is a menacing dark-grey, almost black color this seems to add to the horror surrounding me. This isn't real right? I feel myself fall into the sand on my knees. I hold my hands against my eyes and shit my eyes tight to block our everything around me. This has to be a dream, this can't be real, but it feels so real. I keep my eyes closed like it will somehow wake me up, in the case that this is a dream.
I notice that it is quiet now, so I carefully remove my hands from my ears and open my eyes. I stand up and look around the area, and I realize that I am in a new location. The area seems large, but at the same time felt like the size of a small room. The room felt claustrophobic but not at the same time as so I look around and see nothing but pitch black, the kind of darkness that is void of anything making it impossible to figure out the actual size of the room. The black was blinding until I notice a red chain, then another, an another. I see the crimson chains wrapped around me and I flinch. The chain are burning hot and I hiss slightly in pain. I try to fight the chains and I look down and realize they are only getting tighter. I stop fighting and I look back up to see Julian,my beautiful Julian. I realize this is just before the deal, before Julian made a deal with the devil. He was also wrapped up in the twisted chains. The devil is standing above us his red eyes burning into my soul "Is it a deal?" The devil says this in his grim, dark voice, with venom lacing each word as he extends his hoove like hand to Julian. I realize what is happening and I start to try and squirm out of the chains but it is useless. The chains only get tighter but I continue to thrash and start sobbing as Julian takes his hand with no argument. I scream as loud as I can, my throat burning as I beg for him to stop but my words are silent,as though I am yelling under water.I am being silenced by the devil himself. Julian looks to me ,we make eye contact, and I understand why people call eyes the mirror to the soul. I feel like I am looking into his heart as I notice the sorrow and pain in his eyes as I realize he did this all for me. I start crying all over again as his body contorts,his legs snap and reform bending almost into a new shape,his nails now razor sharp,feathers appear all over him,and black wings burst from his back,he screams in pain. I try reaching for him through the chains ignoring that I cannot do anything to stop the pain that is overtaking my love. The chains disappear from around me and I collapse to my knees. I ignore the burns and pain from the chains and I don't stay down long . I run over to him,the devil not in sight anymore. I lay my hand on his back ,and try to comfort him "Ilya, Julian I'm so sorry-" Before I could finish he cuts me off "it's your fault,this is all your fault..." He says this with so much pain in his voice and the ground shatters and I fall through the floor of the black void, but before anything else can happen I flash back to reality.
My whole body shakes when I wake up in tears. I am shaking slightly and my body is drenched in a cold sweat. I turn and see who woke me up,it was Julian. I look over at him and I let out a small sob, he is sitting up next to me his hands hovering over my body, making sure that he does not touch me. "Darling,are you alright did I hurt you?" He says this softly and gives me a worried expression looks. He sounds like he is worried that he accidentally hurt me while we were asleep. I shake my head and let out a little whimper,but those small whimpers escalate into more sobs "I'm so sorry this is all my fault...you could've stayed how you were before and you won't be bond to the devil and I ruined it,if you didn't love me you would still be happy..." I sit up and curl my knees under my chin and I feel Julian's feathered arms gently wrap around me. I didn't have the heart to look at him right now, but I feel his hand moves up and down my back and I feel my sobbing become more even face. I hear him whisper my name softly and he tries to shush me. He sighs and I move my legs and I lay my forehead against his chest,with one of his hands rubbing small circles in my back still, making sure to not scratch me with his claws. "Don't blame yourself,darling it was just a dream, I could never be mad at you for this,it's alright,we're together that's all that matters okay? I promise." I nod and wrap my arms around his torso and hug him. He gently lays us down back and I lay my cheek where my forehead originally on his chest as if he was a pillow. His grip on my waist and back tighten as he hugs me, he just holds me as if he were telling me it's okay. "I love you so much..." I smile softly at his quiet words and finally stop crying completely. "I love you so much Jules." He gently puts and arm around me and kisses my forehead,I snuggles closer to him,his muscles tighten up not use to me being this huggable to him when he is like this, but he relaxes a little when I softly start to talk "It's okay Ilya, you aren't gonna hurt me." I say this as I stroke the side of his face. We both just lay with one another in a comfortable silence, that silence sometimes being broken into small sweet messages, and after a little while we both drift into a dreamless rest.
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Originally written: July 16th 2019
Rewritten: October 10th 2021
Rewritten again: 7-4-2022
Word count: 1246
Original Word Count: 972
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The Arcana-Head Canons and Oneshots
FanficThe title explains it all! This book is full of oneshots and head canons for the characters of the virtual novel The Arcana by Nix Hydra! This book was originally written in 2019 and I am still updating and rewriting parts of it after a like year l...
