Findale Recreational Basketball: An Oral History

Part 10: Synergy

Game 2: Billy vs. Chelsey

Flex, Bulls Coach: The mark of a good coach is how well he can maximize the talent of every single player on the floor and inspire them to fill the role that they play.

Stan Sykes, Cuddlebunnies Coach: It was like the first Iron Man movie where Tony Stark made a suit of armor out of scraps and killed some low-level actors who are probably tired of only getting roles as terrorists. That is what Billy pulled off.

Davy Hatch, Tigers Coach: As I said when Billy was making his comeback, I'm sure everyone in these interviews is going to suck Billy's weird, probably misshapen dick about what a great coach he is.

Miles Eckert, Knights Coach: Yeah, Billy's got a weird dick, we've all seen it.

Billy Taylor, Bloodthirst Coach: Who is saying what about my penis? Whatever. What I'm here to talk about is the game between Chelsey and me. The timing was...not ideal. Both JJ Perez and Matt Timland were playing in a travel baseball game that was deemed more important than the second game of a recreational basketball league.

Tara Marcus, Gamblers Coach: These are the games that you steal. Chelsey knew that going in.

Priya Shah, Scorekeeper: Chelsey had the win wrapped up before the game started. The only decision she had to make was which Slayback to play first. A real Sophie's Choice.

Flex: An easy trap for kids to fall into is thinking that since the other team does not have their best players, they can sleepwalk through the game and still win A lot of times this is something that ruins easy wins. Chelsey is smart enough to make sure her players avoid that feeling.

Chelsey Oakley, Falcons Coach: Billy still had Cole Bector, plus the rest of his team is solid. I gave my team a short breathing exercise to not worry about who they are playing but the game itself.

Davy Hatch: Chelsey is such a fucking hippie, man.

Priya Shah: Wait, that's not what that phrase means?

Zeke Fielding, Ref: To put it plainly, Chelsey had two great scorers in the Slaybacks that had to match up with the scoring of Cole Bector, which in a scenario where you have two against one, you always take the two.

Billy Taylor: The good news is that with only seven kids showing up to the game, Cole could play a whole lot of the game, the hard part is what to do with those two five minute stints where he was sitting.

Charlie Zhang, Timekeeper: In the pregame huddle, Billy preached synergy to his players, playing for one another, filling their role and executing it to perfection.

Tara Marcus: As the kids went out for the opening tip, Billy was just yelling about "synergy." Whatever that means.

Stan Sykes: No, I don't know what it means. I don't think anyone does.

Jenna Marshall, Ref: Nope, not a clue.

Davy Hatch: Synergy is a lie preached to us by our corporate overlords to get us to buy into a toxic environment of a sinking work-life balance, normalizing twelve hour work days as we go further and further into a corporatocracy. And Billy clearly supports this. Billy is a dystopian ruler and I will not stand for it.

Flex: Chelsey ended up starting Alex Slayback.

Priya Shah: Oh my God that is a horrible decision! Who would ever make that choice! William Styron is a psychopath.

Davy Hatch: Oh, I'm an anarchist. I don't believe in government.

Flex: So through the first quarter Billy and Chelsey played each other into a near draw, 10-9 after the first quarter in Chelsey's favor.