Findale Recreational Basketball: An Oral History

Part 7: Chelsey vs. Stan

Game One: Chelsey vs. Stan

Billy Taylor, Bloodthirst Coach: Chelsey should have been dipped in gold and sent to the Basketball Hall of Fame for what she pulled off.

Jenna Marshall, Ref: Zeke and I couldn't do anything but stare at what she had her kids doing at half time down 17 points. We thought she was crazy, like, Miss Cleo crazy.

Tara Marcus, Gamblers Coach: Stan's team rolled out to this crazy lead in the first half. Everything, and I mean everything was clicking for them.

Davy Hatch, Tigers Coach: Stan had this kid who I had last year, Ryan French, who besides The Dreamshatterer had to be the most athletic kid this league has ever seen. He couldn't quite dunk but at like 5'8, he was pulling rebounds off of the rim, was fast as hell and could change directions on a dime. He was a specimen.

Stan Sykes, Cuddlebunnies Coach: Ryan came out and rolled over Chelsey's team, any time someone else on my team missed a shot, he was there to clean it up, jumping over every kid taller than him and putting it back in. In the first half, he had the touch to put anything in as long as it was close to the basket.

Chelsey Oakley, Falcons Coach: My team was not playing good basketball. They were sloppy, disorganized and we barely got any shots up. The Slaybacks played like they were, like, on something.

Jett Cordova, Hurricanes Coach: Who accused me of selling drugs to kids this time?

Billy Taylor: It looked like Chelsey's season was going to be very very long during the first half. If the Slaybacks lost their basketball touch, Chelsey was looking at a lot of twenty point losses.

Miles Eckert, Knights Coach: The twins Chelsey barely looked like they knew they were in a game.

Jett Cordova: I do not, I repeat, do not, sell drugs to kids!

Priya Shah, Scorekeeper: I felt bad for Chelsey's kids. As the first half was winding down, they were losing 18-4. All of them, even the kids that didn't know we kept score, because every rec league has a few of them, looked like they were about to cry.

Flex, Bulls Coach: Chelsey, on the other hand, could have, and probably should have, been in full panic mode but her face did not give a hint of that, even when Joshua Irons, Stan's big doofy center splashed a three right at the halftime buzzer to make it 21-4. When it seemed like it was going to be one of those games when everything was going right for one team and the opposite for the other, Chelsey didn't show a hint of being upset at the basketball gods.

Charlie Zhang, Timekeeper: So half time comes and the team's head back to their benches. Stan's team is running back and feeling good, he can barely keep them calm enough to get a words in edgewise. Meanwhile, Chelsey's team is sleepwalking back to their own with their heads down.

Flex: The basketball gods are Pistol Pete Maravich and Lenny Bias. Rest in Peace.

Tara Marcus: She leads them to off of the concrete basketball court and onto the grass and tells them to sit down in a circle.

Davy Hatch: They sit down and Chelsey tells them to close their eyes and inhale. And to the credit of those hard-headed middle schoolers, they all did.

Billy Taylor: There they are, sitting on the grass, eyes closed breathing in and out like they aren't getting slaughtered in the game they have to play the second half of in two minutes.

Chelsey Oakley: Practicing mindfulness in everyday life is an essential part to living in a healthy and balanced way.

Stan Sykes: If you asked me to predict the score following half time, I would have told you 50-6. That is how stupid I thought breathing at half time was. She talked zero strategy with them. None. Who wins a game that way? Zen Master Phil Jackson wouldn't even do that!