Broken Into Pieces (EDITING)

Chapter Twenty Three- Part Two- Bad Dream ( The Pretender )

Chapter Twenty Three- Part Two- Bad Dream ( The Pretender )

Enjoy!

Ever have one of those moments when you wake up but your eyes are closed. You can hear everything around you, like the littlest of sounds. Well that's exactly what was happening to me at the moment. I was still in bed, eyes closed like I was sleeping, only I wasn't. I was wide awake as I had been lying here for more than a few minutes. I could hear everything, the air conditioner turning on, the floorboards creaking, the sound of my breathing, even my heartbeat was crystal clear to me.

I should have been out of bed already, doing whatever chores I was put to do today but I couldn't. Today was Christmas. For most people they would feel joy and happiness at getting gifts or whatever they asked for. That wasn't the case for me. All I felt was emptiness. I hadn't celebrated Christmas since I was nine years old. The day just brought back bad memories in general. I tried not to think about today and focused on the events that happened yesterday- or I at least tried to. While yesterday had been the most liberating I've had in years I still couldn't be happy. This really pissed me off as well. How is it that yesterday I had went to my first party ever, kissed the boy I liked; who was indeed my first kiss, and I still feel like the depressed girl I've always been. I thought I had been getting better but I guess I wasn't.

A part of me knows why I had acted on my impulses yesterday. The reason I had really let go and enjoyed myself for the first time in a long time. It was because of today and what the outcome would be. I knew it was a selfish thing to do and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about what could happen if everything turned for the worst. I feel ashamed to even think such thoughts but this is my reality.

Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes to the sun coming in through the window. Snow covers my window still, making it look like white fluffy clouds. I turned to my right to glance at the clock. It reads 12:15pm. I know I am going to have to get up but I dredge it. I close my eyes and try to find the strength to go on.

Shhh, it's okay. You can do it, baby girl.

Dylan.

The weird feeling in my chest is back. It almost feels like my heart hurts but I'm not sure what it means. Even so, with my eyes open now, I push the covers off me and head for the bathroom. I had my strength. It's Dylan. If he believes in me then I sure as hell can believe in me too. I'll face my hardships head on and not run like a coward. The bathroom light blinds me for a sec but I adjust to it. I turn the water on and undress while the water gets warms. I look down at my body with a frown. Both arms are covered in scars, big and small. My legs are no different. The tops of my thighs are nothing but white lines and scab marks. If I look on my stomach and ribs, I have a few bruises here and there. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Good lord, I look like a corpse.

I turn away and walk into the shower. I distract myself with doing simple tasks like washing my hair and body. I don't want to give into my demons today. I want today to be different.

When I finished showering, I brushed my teeth and dressed into a black long sleeve shirt, a hoodie, and sweat pants. I left my hair down to dry naturally like always and headed down to the living room. As I neared it I heard the sound of the a TV indicating my step mother was there.

"Snow, go clean the dining room and when you're done wash the dishes." I held my tongue as I heard her address me. She purposely made me do the dining room. She knew it would take me a good 3 hours to clean it all. And the way she liked it took a lot longer.

Not giving a fuck if she waved me off or not, I walked to the cleaning supplies closet and took out the broom. I walked into the dining room and heaved a sigh. Better get started now. I swept the whole dining room not once but twice before I returned to get the mop and bucket. I filled the bucket with cleaning liquid and water then wet the mop with it. I mopped the whole room once then waited a couple minutes before I went back in. When the floor was dry I grabbed a cleaning towel and windex to clean the surface of the table and pictures hanging on the wall. After that I was finally finished. But before I put the supplies away I cleaned the mop and towel and left it to dry till tomorrow. I still had the dishes to wash so I walked to the kitchen. The clock on the wall said it was 3:20pm. I groaned as I saw that most of my day had gone by already. As I looked at the sink I sighed that I didn't have many to wash. So when I was done it was almost 4pm.