"You need to stop being so scared" Is what the all say to me. I wonder if they'd still say the same if they knew how this feels. The constant fear of someone leaving the second they walk in that you will never be anything but second best. The anxiety that takes over my body when I even think of your name. How the second another guy gets close to me I run for the hills. I flinch away when their hands touch my skin. I keep my heart locked away and my walls are thrown up with extra protection. I push them all away to save myself from one of them turning into you. Although the truth is, no one could ever be as terrible and damaging as you.
How can I open up my heart when a part of it is still held captive in your treacherous cage and the only way to get it back is to not block off the memories. The good and the bad. Come to terms with the fact that I will never get the closure of why you hurt me because the truth is there is no reason you could give me that would ever make me feel better or heal. You're abusive, you suck the light out of people and transfer your darkness to them. But how can I trust someone else when the only thing of love I know is from you.
A broken, abusive and manipulative love.
-Ali❦
