"It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did."
"-Screw you! This never would have happened if you had taken your medication!"
[Short stories, The Jinchuuriki Alliance, random humour, OOCness, references, advice, etc. Doesn't...
Gaara stared blankly at the small rectangular thing that Temari was showing him. She giggled and gushed, describing how a person can access something called 'Youtube' and the 'Internet' with it.
"Why should I care?" Gaara raised a brow and set his pen down onto the desk.
He had been in the middle of marking some documents and proof-reading new Suna bylaws, but was rudely interrupted by his older sister.
"Shikamaru found it, he already started saying some weird things-" she frowned, trying to recall her boyfriend's words, "-Oh yeah! Something like; mood, yeet me into the abyss, and..."
She slapped her hands down and leaned forward, Gaara hesitantly backed away with a twitch. "Temari?"
"GAARA!" She gasped and pointed at him, he blinked quickly and spun around to check if there was something behind him. There wasn't. "Is that a weed?!"
"A what?" Gaara blanched, utterly horrified.
"I'm calling the police!"
What the fuck? "But I'm the Kazekage?" Gaara spluttered, confused as to why Temari was accusing him of possessing drugs.
The shocked look on Temari's face disappeared and she grinned, jumping slightly so she could sit on the desk. "That was a meme."
"May-May?"
"Meme. As in 'meeee-m." She explained slowly, "They're really funny, here."
Temari put the phone down gently on the desk, as if it would break with any amount of strength, she supposed that iPhones would be pretty weak.
Wearily studying the device, Gaara picked it up with two fingers like it would poison him. "And you say that... Shikamaru approves of this?"
Temari nodded fervently, she pushed herself off and spun around. "Have fun! I'll tell Kankuro to take care of the paperwork for the next couple of days." She froze. "Oh, and whatever you do..."
Gaara looked up from the phone and tilted his head in interest. Temari nervously laughed.
"...don't look up GaaNaru."
~*~*~
Gaara didn't think that he could ever look at Naruto the same again.
After the images and drawings and doujinshi of him... entering, and being entered by his best friend were burnt into his mind, he had decided to, instead of blushing and crying, to check an app called reddit.
"I'm an adult virgin~"
It didn't take him long to start bobbing his head up and down to All Star by Smash Mouth and rap with Hamilton.
"Sasuke is clearly the distracted boyfriend, he's acting like he's straight and likes Sakura, but he's always ogling Naruto..." Gaara hummed to himself and continued to scroll.
Kankuro clearly had no idea what the internet was, and had come to collect the paperwork which he was taking over for the next couple of days - he had been confronted with Gaara lying on the couch, phone above him, eyes blank but a massive grin on his lips.
"Gaara? Are you alright?" Kankuro asked with a subtle gulp. He had never seen Gaara so immersed but looking so dead inside.
"Gaara?" The redhead himself repeated his name. He dropped the phone and slowly turned his head to look at his brother. "Who's that?"
Kankuro was shitting himself. "Gaara is... um, you?"
"I don't know Gaara." His grin widened, "It's Britney bitch."
Kankuro felt like his brother was looking straight through him. He dropped the papers in his hands and stumbled out of the room, a shriek escaping his lips. If anyone heard him, he would punish them and send them to interrogation, there was no way that he would let it be public knowledge that he screamed like that.
Gaara didn't move. All he did was upturn his lips into a smirk and whisper. "That's right Kankuro. Run. Cash me ousside, how 'bout da?"
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