Is This Crack? (Naruto CRACK Fanfic)

15. The Alliance's Input - Kurama

Sitting at a Japanese BBQ restaurant, Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, the Danchou of Uzushiogakure moaned in delight as he bit into a piece of juicy chicken.

"Ahh~" He shut his eyes in blissful ecstasy, "So damn good~"

Kurama pawed Naruto's thigh, his miniature form made him look absolutely adorable. He furrowed his furry brows. "H-Hey, Naruto..."

"Hmm?"

Kurama licked his lips, "I want a piece."

Pausing, Naruto looked at him for a couple of seconds, in silence, and then his head snapped back up and waved. "Hey! What's up everyone?" Grinning, he plucked a chicken wing from the bowl in front of him.

"Who are you talking to?" Kurama muttered.

Naruto gently shoved Kurama and continued staring at the camera. "Welcome back to another chapter ooooof... DUN DUN DUN! The Alliance's Input!" He cheered, "Whoop!"

"Fuckin' weirdo."

Ignoring Kurama, Naruto laughed. "Today we have a question for The Nine Tailed Fox, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the Prisoner in my Mind and Belly, the one, the ONLY, Kurama!" He gave jazz hands towards Kurama, who grimaced.

"Great." He sighed, "Another damn child is going to ask me strange questions..."

Naruto shrugged, "Kyuu-chan, that's what you've signed up to, 'ttebayo."

Hopping onto the table, Kurama swiped a chicken wing and sulked into the corner, chewing on the food in depression. He motioned for Naruto to continue.

Smirking, the Uzumaki gave a thumbs up. "Today's question comes from Loviosi_Equinox." He clapped for her, thankful for her asking a question which will undoubtedly amuse Kurama. The fox barely had anything to do in life, he just passed the time by irritating Naruto, so this was a fun change.

Naruto's eyebrows shot up when he read the paper, he grinned.

Huh, funny, he was just thinking about this question. Weeeeird.

"She says: This is for my plush toy Kurama. How do you keep yourself occupied in Naruto's mind? You must be the master of playing cards with that much time. Main question is what the hecc do you do??? I would've DIED of boredom. Just ended it. Technically he can't do that though, as chakra can't die."

He turned to Kurama and tilted his head, awaiting his reply.

Kyuubi curled his tails up and bristled. "I've become veeery used to doing nothing." He said simply, biting into another piece of BBQ chicken. "I sometimes clone myself and play games, or just shoot up Bijudama's into the sky-"

"-And that's why the grass is always singed and I have to use SO MUCH mental fertiliser to fix it!" Naruto groaned, his head in his hands as he sobbed into his palms.

"Silence, child." Kurama snapped. "As I was saying-" He smirked, "Yes, as I, the most powerful Tailed Beast in the world, was saying; I have a much higher mental capacity than all of you mortals, I can survive for years without doing anything." He snorted arrogantly, "Maybe you would have died from boredom, but I'm just too amazing for that."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yeah, course you are..."

"Thank you for agreeing." Kurama shot back, not acknowledging the sarcasm. "I cannot die, as chakra beasts are immortal, you are correct, but I like to sleep a lot and now I can come out whenever I want."

Some random kid pat his head, and scratched his ear. "Cutie plush toy!"

Kurama's eye twitched, "N-Now I can actually do things outside of Naruto's mind." He pawed the random child away, "Who are you? Go away."

The child jut his bottom lip out and walked away.

"No, come back..." Kurama whispered, but his ego was too big to admit that he wanted that random child to pet him. What a shame.

Naruto slowly nodded. "Right. Sure. Thanks. Anyway..." He pulled Kurama towards him and scratched behind his ear, and Kyuubi loved it.

"I'll play with you occasionally if you want."

Kurama chuckled nervously, "N-No, I'm a grown fox, I don't need to have play dates-" Naruto raised his brow, "-Okay, fine. Maybe sometimes."

Smiling at the camera, Naruto gave a peace sign. "Thank you very much for reading! The author will be back in a few days with a new update!"

"I hate you."

Naruto giggled, "No you don't."

"I really hate you."

Naruto hugged him, "I love you Kyuu.

"I... love you too, brat."

Hey! Private message me any questions you have for any character!

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