𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃

twelve

𝑻𝑾𝑬𝑳𝑽𝑬

—

𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒛𝒊𝒆

it's been a couple of days since the "incident" and i have been avoiding my friends all together. it's just easier that way. when they ask me if i'm okay, i tell them i need space to think, which is partially true. i changed seats so i'm not near johnny, and when zoe found out nadia and him broke up, she's back with the flirting and googoo eyes with me in the back staring.

i still do talk to my friends but it's not the same as it used too. at lunch, i eat at my art class alone. my teacher is pretty nice ever since she saw my work, and when i told her i'm trying to avoid the stares at lunch, she gave me her room to eat or work at lunch.

i sit at the back of the class where i now sit to give nadia some space. we got a new project today, so i worked on it instead of eating lunch. one of the most beautiful thing about making art is how it clears your mind.

"why so alone?" the voice of someone unfamiliar woke me up from the clouds i had my head in. i look up to see a boy, around my age, standing at the door frame. "uhm, complicated." i chuckle. "this is the art room?" he walks towards me and sat on top of the desk next to mine. "yep, do you have this class?" i ask, "nah, i'm more of the music kind of guy." he smiles, "ahh, i see. i'm mackenzie by the way. but you could call me kenzie." i introduced myself to a stranger. "austin brown."

"why aren't you at the cafeteria ?" he asks, "uhm.. again, complicated. you?" i say. "i had a big breakfast. plus. no friends." "well, you have one now." i smile, "yay, great!" he says, and we both laugh softly. the bell rang telling us that lunch is over and it's time for forth. "well, see you around, kenzie." i smile as i watch him walk out the door.

—

"hey mads." i say as i hop inside her car. "hey, how you feeling?" she asks, "getting better." i told her everything since i don't really have anyone else to talk to. "let's get some starbucks because i'm craving some right now." she starts the engine and starts to pull out. "okay." i chuckle. i ordered a venti pink drink and some chick-fil-a and head home. but i didn't expect someone sitting in my front door.

"oh.. hey nadia." mads and i say simultaneously. "hey.. can we talk?" she stands from the stands and asks. "yes, let's go to my room." i unlock the door and head upstairs with nadia beside me.

"okay, look nads, i don't know what you're doing here but i really am sorry, i wasn't thinking, i understand if you want to punch me, or h-" i failed to stop myself from rambling, "hey, hey, i'm not going to hit you. i'm here to talk to you." she says, and i sat in my bed. "oh." "i know you're sorry, and i have an idea of what you want to say, so can i speak?"

"i still don't understand why you guys did it, but i understand that you guys just fell into the moment. with you guys getting close this past couple of weeks, i can't even deny the fact that you guys have.. like a chemistry there, and i can't stop it. and, i can't stand not having my bestfriend anymore. and it's not so easy to replace you. hell, it's hard having not to talk about you." we both chuckle. "so if you want to, we can forget and forgive. you can date johnny if you want to." she smiles at me, faintly. almost telling me "it'll hurt, but a long as you're happy, then i am" without having to open her mouth.

i walk up to her and took her hands. "nads, i am not going to date johnny. being his friend is enough. all i really wanted was you back. i'll be fine." i smile at her. "are you sure? you seem like you really like him. let's not mention his your first real kiss." she says, making me realize that he was. "yes, i'm sure." i reassure her, "you should talk to him. i can tell he feels like you're ignoring him." she says. "if i'm beinhg honest, i kinda was. " we both giggle.

dang, i have waited for this moment forever. i never wanted to say anything to give her some space. we catch up, as if we forgot everything that has happened and it was a regular day with my best friend.

𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒛𝒊𝒆

i open my locker and normally put away my english books and get my biology ones. just as i slammed it shut, i found an austin brown leaning on the lockers next to mine. "hey." he smiles. "hey austin brown." i smile. he walks beside me as i walk to class. "still having lunch at the art class?" he asks. "yep." i smile softly. "do you mind if i accompany you?" he asks, "sure !" "okay, i'll meet you there." he smiles and heads down the hall.

after biology, i grab my lunch out of my locker and walk into the art class. austin brown was there eating next to the desk i sit at. we say our hi's and eat our lunches and getting to know each other. he's pretty cool.

"okay, so where'd you come from?" i ask before biting into my sandwich. "oregan. we came here because of," he hesitates, "problems." he continues as he looks down into his sandwich. "may i ask what those problems ar- oh wait, i'm no one to ask that-" i say, remembering how i feel when people ask me the same thing. "no it's fine.. promise not to tell anybody?" i crossed my heart, "promise."

"i just need to get it off my chest, i hate not telling anyone and not getting advice." he sighs. "i got molested by my babysitter" austin confesses to me inbetween pauses. "oh.. i am so sorry." i frown. "no, it's okay. you couldn't have stopped it. she touched me while i was sleeping." he chocked a little bit as a tear fell out his eye. i quickly hug him, "god, i am so sorry." he wipes the tear as i pull away. "it's okay." i frown as he still looks down. i sigh. i haven't even told this part of my life to nadia yet. "since you told me that, i'll tell you why i moved here from pennsylvania."

"huh?" he finally looks up at me. "as a kid, i was a trouble maker. my dad hated me and loved my sister. whenever i did something he didn't like, he would grab my arm and get more aggressive over time. he started getting stressed about work and he and my mom would always fight. whenever he would hear me cry, he would yell at me and punch me. he would drink and drink and every time around 10:30," i swallow the lump stuck in my throat as a hot tear fell down my cheek.

"he would come into my room and rape me. and when i try to resist, he would beat me up. my mom was in love with him and too scared to do anything about it. and some times, i understand her. my sister would tell me he wasn't always such a drunk. he would do the same to my sister but less than the times he did to me. one day, i yelled so loud, my sister couldn't take it anymore and called the cops. so did my neighbors. a lot went down and he went to jail." i cry softly.

"i am so sorry, kenz." he hugs me, as i hug him back. "i'm sorry too."

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞
—
this part was inspired by "glee." i wanted to shine a light into a difficult topic that many try to silence for reasons i will never understand. women should be held accountable as much as we hold men accountable and vice versa. when a man finally talks more about his experience being sexual assault/harassment, he is silenced because, according to some, "girls can't rape boys" and because "he was lucky to get that attention from a girl."

sexual harassment should not be excused because of the victim's and the rapist's gender.

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