ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ( ғɪɴɴ ᴡᴏʟғʜᴀʀᴅ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇs ! )

ɪ sᴛɪʟʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʜɪᴍ

i'm sitting in the police department waiting for him

i hear muted police sirens and conversations around me
but i'm still staying silent

it's not the first time i was here for him

when i say "him" i'm meaning my boyfriend, finn.

he is not the best boyfriend
but i love him
i love him so much
even through how many times he has hurt me
never physically
but yelling is what causes me harm the most
he's never touched me
he knows that it would hurt me physically and doesn't do it

he knows i am delicate and weak against him

i still love him

i never stopped loving him

when i first met finn i felt like i was really going to have a connection with him
and i sure did

it doesn't matter how many times my friends told me he wasn't good for me
i still love him

our first date he took me to a ice cream shop down the road

i got vanilla and he got chocolate
he said
"even with ice cream on your cheek you're still the most beautiful girl in the world"
i'll never forget those words

after about 2 years into the relationship he lost his mother

he started drinking and isolated himself from everyone all the time

even me.

i always tried to help him
i always tried to talk to him

he didn't talk back

he stayed silent
i would try and talk to him after a few days and he finally talked back
he said small words but to me i needed to know he was okay

i asked several times if he was okay and he always said "i'll be okay"
i didn't know how to help
then he started yelling at me

when i would say things i didn't mean
"you need to end this grief baby-"
he cut me off by yelling saying i dont know what it's like

and he's right
i don't
because my mother left when i was born
so i never got attached to her
i heard she was very beautiful
and kind

now finn is in the police department for drinking and driving
he wasn't hurt
he just got caught

it was finally my turn to go see him

i walk into the room he was in

he was crying and closing his eyes
i start to tear up at the sight of him crying
"i'm scared" he states not looking at me
"hm? of what baby?" i say in a quiet voice

"hurting you again"

i just stay silent

"you're all i got, and i treated you so terrible. i'm so sorry"
he doesn't make eye contact

i go sit next to him
"it's going to be okay"

he looks me in the eyes

"i'm sorry y/n"

"it's okay finn"
i hug him and kiss his cheek many times

i still love him