Paper Wings

Chapter 8

Tanner pulls up in his navy blue A1 Audi with his windows down and music blaring. The car was a gift mother gave to him for his high school graduation. But not only did Tanner graduate, but he also happened to be the valedictorian. Top of his class.
"Are you getting in or are you just going to stand there." He said teasing me.
I sigh and pick up my feet putting one foot in front of the other until I can reach the car door. The second I am in arms distance of the door he jerks the car forward so I can't get in.
"Tanner, stop I'm in a bad mood."
"Yeah clearly," he said rolling his eyes "why are you so moody today."
"I'm not, it's just that school sucks, I hate it at home and mom is being I don't know mom I guess?"
"Elle, it'll get better, sometimes you just have to wait it out."
"Thanks," I mumble, slamming the door behind me.
"Maybe for you it did," I whisper to myself.
I turn my face away from him towards the window and rest my head against the seat. Sometimes having siblings is nice because they can sort of relate to you in a way that others can't, but at the same time, it's hard because even though they've grown up in mostly the same circumstances still they can never truly understand exactly how you feel. Especially the twins because mommy plays favorites.
I watch the trees disappear behind us quickly but it doesn't feel like I'm moving. The world could pass me by and I wouldn't even notice. It feels like I've spent my entire life stuck in this limbo. Somewhere between dead and alive.
This must be what hell feels like...
"So what exactly happened to you at school today?" He questions.
"Not much besides tripping, hitting my head really hard, and the teachers overreacting."
"Why did they call me to come and get you?"
"They couldn't get ahold of mom." I lied. Besides, it's really none of her business and she would only make a big deal out of nothing.
I am fine.
Tanner nods his head understandingly, he knows she's too busy to deal with me and my shit. If people where to find out who I really am my mother's perfect reputation, would be at stake and of course we can't have that.
every few minutes I can feel Tanner staring at the back of my head trying to magically read my thoughts. But he can't. No one can. I turn my face to him and he looks back to the road as if he'd been looking at the road this entire time.
"Are you okay Elle? I mean for real, "
My muscles begin to tense, "yes, Tanner I am fine."
"You don't seem fine to me. You've been acting weird lately."
"Um no not really, I've always been like this. Thanks for your concern though." I lie through gritted teeth.
God, I wish everyone would just leave me alone. Doesn't he have better things to do than pester me?
I guess not.
"I can talk to her you know, try to help you both." suggests Tanner
"Don't bother, it's a waste of time. And I don't need any help."
I can see our street sign in the distance. It reads Angel Boulevard. It sounds warm and inviting, but the people who inhabit the homes are cold and distant. No angels here.
Tanner pulls up on the sidewalk next to the house. I quickly unlatch my seatbelt and reach for the door pulling it open in one swift movement. I climb out fast before he finishes saying goodbye to me.
"Thanks for the ride T." I yell behind me. Once I am safely inside the house I run straight to my room to avoid any possible contact with my mother. Though it's unlikely considering she hardly ever leaves her room, but today I am taking zero chances.
Now that I'm in my room I can finally relax. I slump my shoulders and drop my school bag to the ground. Taking that bag off my shoulders makes me feel as if I'm walking on clouds. Nothing holding me back. I feel free.
I am weightless.