Tenebris: The Complete Collection

28. First Love

(Inspired by the "My First Love" YouTube series by Sultan Sketches)

You found me in primary,
A kid lost in self pity.
And you took me away
To a life without misery.
A best friend, a princess
We could never live apart.
You weren't my lover but you were the key
To my locked up, lonely heart.

Time had passed,
Yet our friendship last,
And the world knew we belonged together.
A sultan, a princess,
A bond that would never be severed.
Partners in crime,
Partners through time,
And a love to last forever.

Yet when I saw you kiss him,
I knew the truth I had hidden.
My love was more than a friendship,
And my feelings had grown, unbidden.
I ran from the house, I ran from you,
Because I knew my heart ached for the impossible.
I couldn't tell him, he was my best friend,
And the truth would break you through and through.

So I put on a mask to pretend all was well.
We were in the eleventh grade now and
I told myself friendship was what I felt.
It was lie that I told myself every day,
To ignore the love I couldn't have
And to ignore the pain.
We stayed best friends,
But I didn't feel the same.

When I realized the truth,
It was on graduation night.
The sky was clear,
The moon was bright,
And the wind tugged at your hair.
You looked at me, with your auburn eyes,
And I knew your friendship was all I needed.
No more secrets, no more lies,
We'd stay best friends throughout time.

In all of college our friendship grew,
The semesters passing with your laughs and smiles.
About the past, you never knew,
But my feelings were no more in denial.
You were the closest friend to me,
And we'd never be alone.
And I knew my place would always be
Beside your golden throne.

Yet after we got our jobs,
Life started to pull us apart.
There were no goodbyes, no pained sobs,
Just an absence where you had been in my heart.
We'd see each other less and less,
The space between us growing with each meeting.
I wasn't angry or hurt, and I wasn't a mess,
But I missed my friend, and the life we had been leading.

When I found you in our old cafe,
We hadn't talked for many weeks.
You promised to come to my birthday,
And my smile only increased.
But you left me there, waiting,
For a person who wouldn't ever come.
My birthday night I spent crying,
For a friend who could never come.

I found myself watching my phone the next day,
Waiting for a call or text, to explain the way I felt now.
Yet when you finally texted, it was just to say
That you'd make it up for me, somehow.
I never heard your voice again,
Never saw the face that I had memorized.
Never got another text from the person who was akin
To my best friend that I recognized.

I don't know where you are now,
Or why you dropped out of my life.
I don't understand why you changed, or how,
But only that you were my life.
You're gone now, but I don't blame you,
I'm glad you're somewhere happy.
Though no matter where I go or what I do,
I'll be wishing you were beside me.

My best friend, my first love, my Princess.
You'll forever be in my heart.
All I have left now are memories I possess,
And I think back to our very start.
I hate that we had to change,
That we had to go our separate ways.
But as long as I remember you,
We'll never truly be apart.