I should be feeling something, but still I'm not.
I should be feeling the pain with each slice to my skin,
But even that doesn't bring the relief that I've sought.
I should be smiling and laughing with you
But then I fake it, and it's always surreal.
Can you see through me, or do you think it's true?
Because I think you still know what it's like to feel.
Because I just don't feel anymore,
And I can't seem to smile anymore.
I can't even cry anymore,
And it's leaving me numb.
But I don't want to be just another memory
And I don't want to be just another bad dream.
I don't want to be all the things you said I should be
I don't want to fade to just another of your schemes.
Is that too much to ask for, life?
That I feel the emotions you throw at me?
That I remember why I loved doing my own hobbies,
That I remember what it feels like to just be "me"?
Because I don't feel like "me" anymore,
And I can't figure out who I am anymore.
I can't understand why I feel nothing,
I don't know where my happiness is anymore.
I don't know what anything is anymore
Because now, I'm too numb.
YOU ARE READING
Tenebris: The Complete Collection
PuisiI struggle. I change. This is the cycle. This is the end. A collection of my own personal poems spanning the last three years, about the life I've lived and the world around me. Contains dark imagery, and mature themes including death and self harm...
